Bill & Melinda Gates Foundation (Seattle)
Africa: Bill Gates' Speech at the World Food Prize Symposium
15 October 2009
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The following is a speech by Bill Gates, co-chair and trustee of the Bill and Melinda Gates Foundation, delivered before an audience at the 2009 World Food Prize Symposium held in Des Moines, Iowa. You can watch the speech as it was delivered here.
Thank you very much, Ambassador Quinn, for that generous introduction. Thank you all for the honor of speaking to this distinguished audience.
Like all of you, when I made my plans to attend this symposium, I had hoped to be able to see Dr. Borlaug.
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His passing is cause for sadness, but his life should make us optimistic. In the middle of the 20th century, experts predicted famine and starvation, but they turned out to be wrong – because they did not predict Norman Borlaug. He not only showed humanity how to get more food from the earth – he proved that farming has the power to lift up the lives of the poor.
It's a lesson the world is thankfully relearning today.
I want to congratulate Dr. Ejeta for the discoveries in drought and pest-tolerant sorghum that earned him this year's Prize. I'd like to acknowledge Gordon Conway, whose book The Doubly Green Revolution got me enthused about this work. And I'd like to recognize the researchers, policymakers, and activists who have spent their lives fighting poverty and hunger through agriculture.
The world's attention is back on your cause.
Each of us here has come to our interest in agriculture along a different path. I would like to take a moment to explain how Melinda and I came to the work.
When we started our foundation, we agreed that our giving should be guided by our belief that all lives have equal value—that every person deserves the chance to live a healthy and productive life.
Manoocher Deghati/IRIN
Over time, our search for the greatest leverage brought us to the most compelling challenge in development: how do you help people who live on less than a dollar a day?
They face huge difficulties. How can they get some traction, so that their daily struggle can lead to a better life?
The answer is in the work they do. Three-quarters of the world's poorest people get their food and income by farming small plots of land. So if we can make small-holder farming more productive and more profitable, we can have a massive impact on hunger and nutrition and poverty.
Melinda and I believe that helping the poorest small-holder farmers grow more crops and get them to market is the world's single most powerful lever for reducing hunger and poverty.
Of course, the idea that better farming can end hunger and poverty is not new. It was demonstrated by Dr. Borlaug. It was honored with the Nobel Prize. It was called the Green Revolution, and it helped avert famine, save hundreds of millions of lives, and lift whole countries out of poverty.
It was one of the great achievements of the 20th century.Prepared Remarks by Bill Gates, co-chair and trustee
Thank you very much, Ambassador Quinn, for that generous introduction. Thank you all for the honor of speaking to this distinguished audience.
Like all of you, when I made my plans to attend this symposium, I had hoped to be able to see Dr. Borlaug.
GA_googleFillSlot( "AllAfrica_Story_InsetB" );
His passing is cause for sadness, but his life should make us optimistic. In the middle of the 20th century, experts predicted famine and starvation, but they turned out to be wrong – because they did not predict Norman Borlaug. He not only showed humanity how to get more food from the earth – he proved that farming has the power to lift up the lives of the poor.
It's a lesson the world is thankfully relearning today.
I want to congratulate Dr. Ejeta for the discoveries in drought and pest-tolerant sorghum that earned him this year's Prize. I'd like to acknowledge Gordon Conway, whose book The Doubly Green Revolution got me enthused about this work. And I'd like to recognize the researchers, policymakers, and activists who have spent their lives fighting poverty and hunger through agriculture.
The world's attention is back on your cause.
Each of us here has come to our interest in agriculture along a different path. I would like to take a moment to explain how Melinda and I came to the work.
When we started our foundation, we agreed that our giving should be guided by our belief that all lives have equal value—that every person deserves the chance to live a healthy and productive life.
GA_googleFillSlot( "AllAfrica_Story_InsetC" );
google_protectAndRun("render_ads.js::google_render_ad", google_handleError, google_render_ad);
Over time, our search for the greatest leverage brought us to the most compelling challenge in development: how do you help people who live on less than a dollar a day?
They face huge difficulties. How can they get some traction, so that their daily struggle can lead to a better life?
The answer is in the work they do. Three-quarters of the world's poorest people get their food and income by farming small plots of land. So if we can make small-holder farming more productive and more profitable, we can have a massive impact on hunger and nutrition and poverty.
Melinda and I believe that helping the poorest small-holder farmers grow more crops and get them to market is the world's single most powerful lever for reducing hunger and poverty.
Of course, the idea that better farming can end hunger and poverty is not new. It was demonstrated by Dr. Borlaug. It was honored with the Nobel Prize. It was called the Green Revolution, and it helped avert famine, save hundreds of millions of lives, and lift whole countries out of poverty.
It was one of the great achievements of the 20th century.
But it didn't go far enough.
It didn't go to Africa.
GA_googleFillSlot( "AllAfrica_Story_InsetD" );
Africa is the only place where per capita cereal yields have been flat over the last 25 years. The average farmer in sub-Saharan Africa gets just over half a ton of cereal per acre. An Indian farmer gets twice that; a Chinese farmer, four times that; an American farmer; five times that.
The technology and new approaches that are transforming agriculture in other parts of the world can be applied in new ways, and help Africa flourish too.
Now is the time. The food crisis has forced hunger higher on the world's agenda. From NGOs to the G8 to African Heads of State – there is a rush of new commitment.
But there is also trouble.
This global effort to help small farmers is endangered by an ideological wedge that threatens to split the movement in two.
On one side is a technological approach that increases productivity.
On the other side is an environmental approach that promotes sustainability.
Productivity or sustainability – they say you have to choose.
It's a false choice, and it's dangerous for the field. It blocks important advances. It breeds hostility among people who need to work together. And it makes it hard to launch a comprehensive program to help poor farmers.
The fact is, we need both productivity and sustainability – and there is no reason we can't have both.
Relevant Links
Food and Agriculture
Agribusiness
Science
Sustainable Development
NGO
International Organisations
Sustainable Development
Business
Many environmental voices have rightly highlighted the excesses of the original Green Revolution. They warn against the dangers of too much irrigation or fertilizer. They caution against a consolidation of farms that could crowd out small-holder farmers.
These are important points, and they underscore a crucial fact: the next Green Revolution has to be greener than the first. It must be guided by small-holder farmers, adapted to local circumstances, and sustainable for the economy and the environment.
Let me repeat that. The next Green Revolution must be guided by small-holder farmers, adapted to local circumstances, and sustainable for the economy and the environment.
The last thing anyone should do is create short-term gains for poor farmers that have long-term costs for their children.
That's why our foundation works closely with local farmers' groups. And that's why we are one of the largest funders of sustainable approaches such as no-till farming, rainwater harvesting, drip irrigation, and biological nitrogen fixation.Page 1 of 7123>Last »
Tuesday, February 16, 2010
THE VIRTUOS WOMAN
THE VIRTUOS WOMAN
She’s the Photograph of integrity
The Picture of Dignity
An Epitome of Beauty
A Quintessence of Quality
Her elegance is startling
Her gait is dazzling
Her beauty is always radiating
Her smiles are inviting
She’s the virtuous woman
A mirror image of her man
She’s the queen of his heart
And there’s no disputing the fact
She’s always on the high energy
To give him the needed synergy
Her countenance is like the moon in full glory
Behind her is a good story
In days of pain she comforts him
When the storms hit, she calms him
With her warm embrace she says, ”I’m always here for you
For the one I love is you"
Her voice in the ears of her husband is a symphony
But to the strumpet, a cacophony
She’s not jostled by the aura of the strumpet
Nor moved by the noise of the city’s trumpet
She’s far from the prostitute
Not at all a destitute
She’s not randy, not at all
But being a faithful wife is her call
Though the task may be tedious
She’s destiny conscious
She’s purpose driven
She makes the best out of what she’s given
To her children…. She’s their fortress
To her husband…A place of rest
To the society…A contributor
To humanity…. Love’s distributor
She’s does not destroy but builds
She does not cause pain but heals
She’s does not litigate but serves
Nothing but the best she deserves
In her is excellence distilled
In her spirit is confidence instilled
She does not reduce
But rather she produces
She delights in providing for her household
She keeps the aura of her home warm; not cold
Her husband is known by the city’s gate
She gives him her best in their every day’s date
She influences good decisions
She handles petitions
She plans well; not at all a miser
She seeks wisdom in order to be wiser
In appearance, she’s irresistible
In the face of storms, she’s unconquerable
Her plans for success are impeccable
Above all, with God, she’s able
She fears the good Lord
She has found it a wise thing to hearken to His voice
In doing so, she makes better her choice
All in all, she’s a good gift from a good God
Her husband she satisfies
Wrong choices she nullifies
Her objectives she specifies
The goodness of God she testifies
Her presence dissolves puzzles
She’s not so much into hustles
But in her treasures, are the spices of life
And this makes her a good wife
The man that finds her is blessed
In God’s sight, he has found favour
This adds to his life’s flavour
What else do we call him than blessed?
A gossiper, she’s not
To deceive people, she would not
In God presence, she enjoys the fiesta
‘Cause there, there’s no siesta
In thinking she’s rational
Serving God, is not optional
The virtuous woman
She’s not common
The virtuous woman
She exist
Her person, you can’t resist
She was made for a good man
She’s chaste
She’s pursued, not chased
She cares
And proves to be rare
His greatness, she does not stifle
His longetivity, she does not cut short with a sickle
She’s there to bless him
She’s heaven on earth for him
She sighs at evil
Not a cohort to the devil
She neither smokes, drink nor gamble
For she knows that such acts reduce you to rubbles.
She celebrates excellence
Because she has spirited resilience
She prepares for new seasons
So that change would not put her in a prison.
Her husband is at home with her
His thought of her does not whither
She gives him the necessary attention
And together, they build a generation.
She has a strong sense of purpose
And that’s why she’s focused
That’s why in managing time
She’s sublime.
Life is a battle that must be won
That’s why she’s never on the run
Because in every case she has a plan
And with God’s help her results are never bland.
She runs to the Lord’s throne to seek His face
To obtain the needed favour and grace
To face the crisis and challenges of life
So that she will not to any trouble; nose dive.
Jesus is her Master
Her submission to Him is like salt and water
Christ has taught her husband how to love her
That’s why he can stick out his neck for her.
THE SEVEN C's OF SUCCESS by Brian TracyAfter having studied top achievers and peak performers over the past 25 years, I've concluded that these unique men and women have, in most cases, mastered what I call the Seven C's of Success.Clarity - Eighty percent of success comes from being clear on who you are, what you believe in and what you want.Competence - You can't climb to the next rung on the ladder until you are excellent at what you do now.Constraints - Eighty percent of all obstacles to success come from within. Find out what is constraining in you or your company and deal with it.
Concentration - The ability to focus on one thing single-mindedly and see it through until it's done takes more character than anything else.Creativity - Flood your life with ideas from many sources. Creativity needs to be exercised like a muscle, if you don't use it you'll lose it.Courage - Most in demand and least in supply, courage is the willingness to do the things you know are right. Continuous learning – Read, at the very least, one book a week on business to keep you miles ahead of the competition. And just as you eat and bathe, organize your time so you spend 30 minutes a day exploring e-mail, sending messages, going through web sites, because like exercise, it's the only way you can keep on top of technology. If you get away from it, you'll lose your edge.
She’s the Photograph of integrity
The Picture of Dignity
An Epitome of Beauty
A Quintessence of Quality
Her elegance is startling
Her gait is dazzling
Her beauty is always radiating
Her smiles are inviting
She’s the virtuous woman
A mirror image of her man
She’s the queen of his heart
And there’s no disputing the fact
She’s always on the high energy
To give him the needed synergy
Her countenance is like the moon in full glory
Behind her is a good story
In days of pain she comforts him
When the storms hit, she calms him
With her warm embrace she says, ”I’m always here for you
For the one I love is you"
Her voice in the ears of her husband is a symphony
But to the strumpet, a cacophony
She’s not jostled by the aura of the strumpet
Nor moved by the noise of the city’s trumpet
She’s far from the prostitute
Not at all a destitute
She’s not randy, not at all
But being a faithful wife is her call
Though the task may be tedious
She’s destiny conscious
She’s purpose driven
She makes the best out of what she’s given
To her children…. She’s their fortress
To her husband…A place of rest
To the society…A contributor
To humanity…. Love’s distributor
She’s does not destroy but builds
She does not cause pain but heals
She’s does not litigate but serves
Nothing but the best she deserves
In her is excellence distilled
In her spirit is confidence instilled
She does not reduce
But rather she produces
She delights in providing for her household
She keeps the aura of her home warm; not cold
Her husband is known by the city’s gate
She gives him her best in their every day’s date
She influences good decisions
She handles petitions
She plans well; not at all a miser
She seeks wisdom in order to be wiser
In appearance, she’s irresistible
In the face of storms, she’s unconquerable
Her plans for success are impeccable
Above all, with God, she’s able
She fears the good Lord
She has found it a wise thing to hearken to His voice
In doing so, she makes better her choice
All in all, she’s a good gift from a good God
Her husband she satisfies
Wrong choices she nullifies
Her objectives she specifies
The goodness of God she testifies
Her presence dissolves puzzles
She’s not so much into hustles
But in her treasures, are the spices of life
And this makes her a good wife
The man that finds her is blessed
In God’s sight, he has found favour
This adds to his life’s flavour
What else do we call him than blessed?
A gossiper, she’s not
To deceive people, she would not
In God presence, she enjoys the fiesta
‘Cause there, there’s no siesta
In thinking she’s rational
Serving God, is not optional
The virtuous woman
She’s not common
The virtuous woman
She exist
Her person, you can’t resist
She was made for a good man
She’s chaste
She’s pursued, not chased
She cares
And proves to be rare
His greatness, she does not stifle
His longetivity, she does not cut short with a sickle
She’s there to bless him
She’s heaven on earth for him
She sighs at evil
Not a cohort to the devil
She neither smokes, drink nor gamble
For she knows that such acts reduce you to rubbles.
She celebrates excellence
Because she has spirited resilience
She prepares for new seasons
So that change would not put her in a prison.
Her husband is at home with her
His thought of her does not whither
She gives him the necessary attention
And together, they build a generation.
She has a strong sense of purpose
And that’s why she’s focused
That’s why in managing time
She’s sublime.
Life is a battle that must be won
That’s why she’s never on the run
Because in every case she has a plan
And with God’s help her results are never bland.
She runs to the Lord’s throne to seek His face
To obtain the needed favour and grace
To face the crisis and challenges of life
So that she will not to any trouble; nose dive.
Jesus is her Master
Her submission to Him is like salt and water
Christ has taught her husband how to love her
That’s why he can stick out his neck for her.
THE SEVEN C's OF SUCCESS by Brian TracyAfter having studied top achievers and peak performers over the past 25 years, I've concluded that these unique men and women have, in most cases, mastered what I call the Seven C's of Success.Clarity - Eighty percent of success comes from being clear on who you are, what you believe in and what you want.Competence - You can't climb to the next rung on the ladder until you are excellent at what you do now.Constraints - Eighty percent of all obstacles to success come from within. Find out what is constraining in you or your company and deal with it.
Concentration - The ability to focus on one thing single-mindedly and see it through until it's done takes more character than anything else.Creativity - Flood your life with ideas from many sources. Creativity needs to be exercised like a muscle, if you don't use it you'll lose it.Courage - Most in demand and least in supply, courage is the willingness to do the things you know are right. Continuous learning – Read, at the very least, one book a week on business to keep you miles ahead of the competition. And just as you eat and bathe, organize your time so you spend 30 minutes a day exploring e-mail, sending messages, going through web sites, because like exercise, it's the only way you can keep on top of technology. If you get away from it, you'll lose your edge.
Friday, February 12, 2010
Boys bodies
Boys bodies
What is the average penis size?The first thing to say is that there is a massive variation in the size of the un-erect penis for both boys and men. In the same way that everybody is a different height, weight and build, the same applies for penis size. Everybody develops at a different rate, everybody is different. To give you some guidance though, research has shown that whatever the size of the un-erect penis, over 90% of them grow to between 14-18 cm (about 6 inches) when erect. And remember, a boy's body doesn't stop growing till he's around 20 years old.
What is circumcision?Circumcision is an operation carried out on some boys and involves removing the piece of skin called the foreskin that covers the tip of the penis. Most circumcisions are done on boy babies when they are just a few weeks old, but this operation is sometimes performed at a later stage of life for medical reasons. In the UK it is usually only done for religious reasons and is most common amongst Jews and Muslims. It is nothing to worry about and in fact nearly half the men in the world have probably been circumcised — so don't feel like you're the odd one out. Circumcision of women is a practice that takes place in some parts of western and southern Asia, the Middle East and Africa. It is widely considered to be dangerous and is illegal in Britain and in many other parts of the world.
I have spots on my penis and it itches. Is this normal?If you have had sex without using a condom recently then it would be advisable to visit your local NHS Sexual Health (GUM) clinic, GP, nurse, Young Persons' Sexual Health, or Family Planning clinic as you may have picked up an STI. Lots of boys have normal lumps and bumps in their penis, or it could be that it is something simple like an allergy or an irritation. But if you have concerns, or there are any changes in your genitalia you should seek advice from a doctor or clinic. Remember that medical people see problems like this every day so there is nothing to be embarrassed about.
Is it normal for my penis to smell fishy and have white things behind the head of the bell end?No it's not normal, but this can happen from time to time, so make sure you wash behind the foreskin when you bath or shower. Doing so will prevent any smegma from building up. If you are washing carefully and the symptoms don't go away, make an appointment to see the doctor, or visit your local NHS Sexual Health (GUM), Young Persons' Sexual Health, or Family Planning clinic.
What is sperm?Sperm is produced in a boy's testicles and released during sexual activity. Every time a man ejaculates (cums) he produces up to 100 million sperm — but it only takes one of these to get a girl pregnant, and that can happen even before the boy cums! If you are having sex always use contraception — and remember that only condoms can protect against both pregnancy and STIs.
Is it normal to get an erection when you wake up in the morning?Yes, most boys will have a hard on when they wake up in the morning and they can get one when they're not expecting it during the day too. This is just a normal part of growing up and sexual development.
Is it normal to have one testicle smaller than the other?It is common to have one testicle smaller than the other, or one hanging down lower. No one has a perfect body so don't worry about what is supposed to be 'normal'.
How do I know if I have testicular cancer?You should check yourself regularly and if you find any lumps or irregularities, or a feeling of numbness/tenderness, you need to be checked by your doctor.
What's premature ejaculation?This is when a boy ejaculates (cums) during sex before he wants to i.e. during foreplay, or very soon after he has started having sex. This is fairly common and can be due to nerves or just over excitement. Foreplay or being in a relaxing situation can help and many men say that wearing a condom can help prevent premature ejaculation. If you are worried about this then go and see your local doctor, nurse, NHS Sexual Health (GUM), Young Persons' Sexual Health, or Family Planning clinic. And remember you can get free and confidential advice whatever your age — even if you are under 16.
What age do you go through puberty?Puberty describes all the changes a person goes through from being a child into a young adult. Every young person's experience of this is different as everyone grows and develops at different rates. Everyone will have different amounts of body hair and everyone will have different sized bits so don't worry about what is normal. You would probably start to notice changes at age 11 upwards, but there is no right or wrong time to start. If you want to speak to someone about puberty then visit your local doctor, nurse, or a NHS Sexual Health (GUM), Young Persons' Sexual Health, or Family Planning clinic. And remember advice is free and confidential even if you are under 16. Alternatively you can ring the helpline specially set up for people under 18.
Can you pee while having sex?No. During sex a valve shuts your bladder down so sperm can get through the channel you'd normally use to pee.
Why is it harder to ejaculate when you have sex a second time in the same evening? If you have sex a second time straight after the first it can take longer for a boy to cum or reach orgasm. This is just a natural part of the body's workings. If you are worried about this then just take longer breaks after each time you have sex. Whether it is the first, second, third or tenth time you have had sex that day, though, always use a new condom to protect against unplanned pregnancy and STIs
What is the average penis size?The first thing to say is that there is a massive variation in the size of the un-erect penis for both boys and men. In the same way that everybody is a different height, weight and build, the same applies for penis size. Everybody develops at a different rate, everybody is different. To give you some guidance though, research has shown that whatever the size of the un-erect penis, over 90% of them grow to between 14-18 cm (about 6 inches) when erect. And remember, a boy's body doesn't stop growing till he's around 20 years old.
What is circumcision?Circumcision is an operation carried out on some boys and involves removing the piece of skin called the foreskin that covers the tip of the penis. Most circumcisions are done on boy babies when they are just a few weeks old, but this operation is sometimes performed at a later stage of life for medical reasons. In the UK it is usually only done for religious reasons and is most common amongst Jews and Muslims. It is nothing to worry about and in fact nearly half the men in the world have probably been circumcised — so don't feel like you're the odd one out. Circumcision of women is a practice that takes place in some parts of western and southern Asia, the Middle East and Africa. It is widely considered to be dangerous and is illegal in Britain and in many other parts of the world.
I have spots on my penis and it itches. Is this normal?If you have had sex without using a condom recently then it would be advisable to visit your local NHS Sexual Health (GUM) clinic, GP, nurse, Young Persons' Sexual Health, or Family Planning clinic as you may have picked up an STI. Lots of boys have normal lumps and bumps in their penis, or it could be that it is something simple like an allergy or an irritation. But if you have concerns, or there are any changes in your genitalia you should seek advice from a doctor or clinic. Remember that medical people see problems like this every day so there is nothing to be embarrassed about.
Is it normal for my penis to smell fishy and have white things behind the head of the bell end?No it's not normal, but this can happen from time to time, so make sure you wash behind the foreskin when you bath or shower. Doing so will prevent any smegma from building up. If you are washing carefully and the symptoms don't go away, make an appointment to see the doctor, or visit your local NHS Sexual Health (GUM), Young Persons' Sexual Health, or Family Planning clinic.
What is sperm?Sperm is produced in a boy's testicles and released during sexual activity. Every time a man ejaculates (cums) he produces up to 100 million sperm — but it only takes one of these to get a girl pregnant, and that can happen even before the boy cums! If you are having sex always use contraception — and remember that only condoms can protect against both pregnancy and STIs.
Is it normal to get an erection when you wake up in the morning?Yes, most boys will have a hard on when they wake up in the morning and they can get one when they're not expecting it during the day too. This is just a normal part of growing up and sexual development.
Is it normal to have one testicle smaller than the other?It is common to have one testicle smaller than the other, or one hanging down lower. No one has a perfect body so don't worry about what is supposed to be 'normal'.
How do I know if I have testicular cancer?You should check yourself regularly and if you find any lumps or irregularities, or a feeling of numbness/tenderness, you need to be checked by your doctor.
What's premature ejaculation?This is when a boy ejaculates (cums) during sex before he wants to i.e. during foreplay, or very soon after he has started having sex. This is fairly common and can be due to nerves or just over excitement. Foreplay or being in a relaxing situation can help and many men say that wearing a condom can help prevent premature ejaculation. If you are worried about this then go and see your local doctor, nurse, NHS Sexual Health (GUM), Young Persons' Sexual Health, or Family Planning clinic. And remember you can get free and confidential advice whatever your age — even if you are under 16.
What age do you go through puberty?Puberty describes all the changes a person goes through from being a child into a young adult. Every young person's experience of this is different as everyone grows and develops at different rates. Everyone will have different amounts of body hair and everyone will have different sized bits so don't worry about what is normal. You would probably start to notice changes at age 11 upwards, but there is no right or wrong time to start. If you want to speak to someone about puberty then visit your local doctor, nurse, or a NHS Sexual Health (GUM), Young Persons' Sexual Health, or Family Planning clinic. And remember advice is free and confidential even if you are under 16. Alternatively you can ring the helpline specially set up for people under 18.
Can you pee while having sex?No. During sex a valve shuts your bladder down so sperm can get through the channel you'd normally use to pee.
Why is it harder to ejaculate when you have sex a second time in the same evening? If you have sex a second time straight after the first it can take longer for a boy to cum or reach orgasm. This is just a natural part of the body's workings. If you are worried about this then just take longer breaks after each time you have sex. Whether it is the first, second, third or tenth time you have had sex that day, though, always use a new condom to protect against unplanned pregnancy and STIs
Girls bodies
Girls bodies
What age do you go through puberty?Puberty describes all the changes a person goes through from being a child (from age 10 upwards) until they are a young adult. Every young person's experience of this is different as everyone grows and develops at different rates. Everyone will have different amounts of body hair and everyone will have different size bits so don't worry about what is normal. You would probably start to notice changes from age 10 upwards, but there is no right or wrong time to start. If you want to speak to someone about puberty then visit your local GP, nurse or young person's clinic — advice is free and confidential even if you are under 16. Alternatively you can call our helpline for free advice on 0800 28 29 30.
Is discharge from the vagina normal? Yes this is perfectly normal — girls start to increase the amount of discharge (fluid) they produce as they go through puberty and the hormones start to work on the glands in the vagina and neck of the womb. Before puberty most girls have very little discharge. After puberty what is normal for one girl will not be normal for another. Some produce a lot of fluid whilst others produce very little. The purpose of the fluid is to keep the vaginal area moist and to protect against damage or infection. Throughout the month you will notice it varies a little in colour, what it feels like, how sticky it is and how much of it there is. It's not normal if the discharge becomes smelly, itchy or a different colour than usual. All these may mean you have an infection especially if you have put yourself at risk by having sex without using a condom. If the discharge seems different from what is normal for you then you should see a doctor or nurse — advice is free and confidential even if you are under 16.
Is my period normal?Every girl's period is different. Some people have a period for three days, others can last a week. Some periods can be very light, whereas others can be very heavy. If your periods are heavy/clotted and painful then you should speak to your doctor.
When should you start your periods?Girls can start their periods from around the age of 10 to 16. As everyone develops at different rates, there is no right or wrong age for a girl to start. If you want to speak to someone about your periods then visit your local GP, nurse or young person's clinic - advice is free and confidential even if you are under 16. Alternatively you can call our helpline for free advice on 0800 28 29 30.
Are my breasts too small?Every woman is different and all bodies develop at different rates so don't worry about what size is normal. Whatever size your breasts are is right for your body.
My period is late/irregular.The best thing to do if you are worried about your period is to visit your doctor or local clinic. Girls' periods can be irregular for many different reasons including stress and diet, but if you have had sex without using contraception and your period is late you should take a pregnancy test as soon as possible — you can get one from your local doctor or clinic.
How do I know if I have breast cancer?You should check your breasts regularly and if you find any lumps or bumps, or a feeling of numbness/tenderness, you need to be checked by your doctor. Click here to find out how to do a breast self examination.
When do I have to have a cervical smear test?A cervical smear is a test where some cells are taken from a girl's cervix to check for changes that could lead to cervical cancer. The test is usually offered to girls from age 25 onwards, every three to five years.
What is the hymen? A piece of tissue within the girl's vagina. Every girl is born with a hymen, but it may not break during sex — it can also break when using tampons, playing sport or during other activities.
Do you put on weight taking the pill?The contraceptive pill works by controlling the hormones in a girl's body and this can change your appetite, which sometimes causes weight change. However, everyone's body is different and this may not happen to you at all. The best thing to do is to visit a doctor or clinic where they will be able to give you loads of information about the pill. Remember you can get free and confidential advice about sex, contraception and abortion even if you are under 16.
Can you get pregnant if you have sex during your period or if it is your first time?Yes. A girl can get pregnant anytime. Always use contraception — remember only condoms can protect you from both STIs and pregnancy.
What should you use when your periods start?To be prepared for your first period, you should have a supply of sanitary towels or tampons in your bag. Sanitary towels line your knickers to soak up the blood as it leaves the vagina, and tampons are inserted inside the vagina to soak up the blood there. There are different kinds of towels and tampons for different blood flows (e.g. light, medium, heavy). Use whatever you find most comfortable — you'll find instructions on how to use them properly on the packets and you'll soon get used to them. You can buy towels and tampons in chemists, supermarkets, even some newsagents and garages.
Most girls have their first period when they're between 9 and 16. It's normal, natural and healthy. Some girls will bleed more than others and bleeding can last anything from 3 to 10 days every month. When your periods start they might not come regularly but eventually they should come around the same time each month.
If you get period pains or very heavy bleeding, stretching exercises or a hot water bottle on your tummy can help. If you notice a change in mood, or in the way your body feels leading up to your period, it is probably something called Pre-menstrual tension (PMT) or Pre-menstrual syndrome (PMS).
During a period, you should change your towel or tampon several times a day. People may try to scare you with tales of Toxic Shock Syndrome (TSS), a very rare illness which can be caused by leaving tampons in too long. There have been very, very few cases of TSS in the UK and as long as you change tampons regularly, say every 4—6 hours and wash your hands before inserting your tampon, you should have nothing to worry about.
If you're worried about anything to do with periods or want any more information, it might help to have a chat with an older woman like your mum, your big sister, the school nurse or a teacher. Or, of course, your doctor or local clinic will be happy to help.
What is the clitoris?The clitoris is an incredibly sensitive organ at the front of a girl's vulva. Touching and stimulating the clitoris with your hands or fingers can give strong feelings of sexual pleasure and this is how most girls masturbate. Most girls need direct stimulation of the clitoris to have an orgasm during sex.
What do you want to know?
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What age do you go through puberty?Puberty describes all the changes a person goes through from being a child (from age 10 upwards) until they are a young adult. Every young person's experience of this is different as everyone grows and develops at different rates. Everyone will have different amounts of body hair and everyone will have different size bits so don't worry about what is normal. You would probably start to notice changes from age 10 upwards, but there is no right or wrong time to start. If you want to speak to someone about puberty then visit your local GP, nurse or young person's clinic — advice is free and confidential even if you are under 16. Alternatively you can call our helpline for free advice on 0800 28 29 30.
Is discharge from the vagina normal? Yes this is perfectly normal — girls start to increase the amount of discharge (fluid) they produce as they go through puberty and the hormones start to work on the glands in the vagina and neck of the womb. Before puberty most girls have very little discharge. After puberty what is normal for one girl will not be normal for another. Some produce a lot of fluid whilst others produce very little. The purpose of the fluid is to keep the vaginal area moist and to protect against damage or infection. Throughout the month you will notice it varies a little in colour, what it feels like, how sticky it is and how much of it there is. It's not normal if the discharge becomes smelly, itchy or a different colour than usual. All these may mean you have an infection especially if you have put yourself at risk by having sex without using a condom. If the discharge seems different from what is normal for you then you should see a doctor or nurse — advice is free and confidential even if you are under 16.
Is my period normal?Every girl's period is different. Some people have a period for three days, others can last a week. Some periods can be very light, whereas others can be very heavy. If your periods are heavy/clotted and painful then you should speak to your doctor.
When should you start your periods?Girls can start their periods from around the age of 10 to 16. As everyone develops at different rates, there is no right or wrong age for a girl to start. If you want to speak to someone about your periods then visit your local GP, nurse or young person's clinic - advice is free and confidential even if you are under 16. Alternatively you can call our helpline for free advice on 0800 28 29 30.
Are my breasts too small?Every woman is different and all bodies develop at different rates so don't worry about what size is normal. Whatever size your breasts are is right for your body.
My period is late/irregular.The best thing to do if you are worried about your period is to visit your doctor or local clinic. Girls' periods can be irregular for many different reasons including stress and diet, but if you have had sex without using contraception and your period is late you should take a pregnancy test as soon as possible — you can get one from your local doctor or clinic.
How do I know if I have breast cancer?You should check your breasts regularly and if you find any lumps or bumps, or a feeling of numbness/tenderness, you need to be checked by your doctor. Click here to find out how to do a breast self examination.
When do I have to have a cervical smear test?A cervical smear is a test where some cells are taken from a girl's cervix to check for changes that could lead to cervical cancer. The test is usually offered to girls from age 25 onwards, every three to five years.
What is the hymen? A piece of tissue within the girl's vagina. Every girl is born with a hymen, but it may not break during sex — it can also break when using tampons, playing sport or during other activities.
Do you put on weight taking the pill?The contraceptive pill works by controlling the hormones in a girl's body and this can change your appetite, which sometimes causes weight change. However, everyone's body is different and this may not happen to you at all. The best thing to do is to visit a doctor or clinic where they will be able to give you loads of information about the pill. Remember you can get free and confidential advice about sex, contraception and abortion even if you are under 16.
Can you get pregnant if you have sex during your period or if it is your first time?Yes. A girl can get pregnant anytime. Always use contraception — remember only condoms can protect you from both STIs and pregnancy.
What should you use when your periods start?To be prepared for your first period, you should have a supply of sanitary towels or tampons in your bag. Sanitary towels line your knickers to soak up the blood as it leaves the vagina, and tampons are inserted inside the vagina to soak up the blood there. There are different kinds of towels and tampons for different blood flows (e.g. light, medium, heavy). Use whatever you find most comfortable — you'll find instructions on how to use them properly on the packets and you'll soon get used to them. You can buy towels and tampons in chemists, supermarkets, even some newsagents and garages.
Most girls have their first period when they're between 9 and 16. It's normal, natural and healthy. Some girls will bleed more than others and bleeding can last anything from 3 to 10 days every month. When your periods start they might not come regularly but eventually they should come around the same time each month.
If you get period pains or very heavy bleeding, stretching exercises or a hot water bottle on your tummy can help. If you notice a change in mood, or in the way your body feels leading up to your period, it is probably something called Pre-menstrual tension (PMT) or Pre-menstrual syndrome (PMS).
During a period, you should change your towel or tampon several times a day. People may try to scare you with tales of Toxic Shock Syndrome (TSS), a very rare illness which can be caused by leaving tampons in too long. There have been very, very few cases of TSS in the UK and as long as you change tampons regularly, say every 4—6 hours and wash your hands before inserting your tampon, you should have nothing to worry about.
If you're worried about anything to do with periods or want any more information, it might help to have a chat with an older woman like your mum, your big sister, the school nurse or a teacher. Or, of course, your doctor or local clinic will be happy to help.
What is the clitoris?The clitoris is an incredibly sensitive organ at the front of a girl's vulva. Touching and stimulating the clitoris with your hands or fingers can give strong feelings of sexual pleasure and this is how most girls masturbate. Most girls need direct stimulation of the clitoris to have an orgasm during sex.
What do you want to know?
Popular pages
Getting good with girls
Getting good with girls
Having sex is one thing, making your relationship go the distance and staying happy in it is another. Sometimes you need to talk about life’s serious stuff – like the first time you do it, contraception, or the ‘L’ word. Finding out how to talk about serious stuff with your girlfriend will keep you both happy, and she’ll respect you for it.
The right time
Just because you’re in a relationship, doesn’t mean you have to have sex – or that your girlfriend does. And even if you’ve done it once or twice, you still need to make sure she’s as keen as you are every time.
If you agree with the following – the time may be right:
It feels right.She loves me as much as I love her.We’ve talked about using condoms.I’m not under pressure.I won’t regret it tomorrowI’m not just trying to impress my mates.I’m not doing it to make her stay with me.I can stop at any point, and she’ll be fine with that.
Read more:What makes a relationship work?
Become a kissing master
Once you’ve got that first, awkward kiss out of the way, you can practice getting great at kissing!
Kissing’s one of the best bits about a relationship. As you get more used to kissing each other, you can try it with tongues or even kiss her cheeks, nose and neck in between snogs.
Be gentle when using your tongue for the first time – you want to make sure she likes it rather than sticking it down her throat!
Kissing can lead to more serious stuff, but it doesn’t have to. If she’s pushing you to take things further, talk to someone you trust.
What’s going through her mind?
Sex is a big deal for both of you – but what’s going through your girlfriend’s mind?
Trust: Most girls want to have sex with someone they love, care about and trust, taking things slowly and bonding first.
Naked truth: Lots of girls find getting their kit off in front of someone else really scary - if you think she looks great, tell her.
Baby worries: Most girls under 18 don’t want to get pregnant – carrying a condom shows you respect her and are being sensible.
Foreplay: Sex is an emotional experience for girls – they want to feel loved and respected. Spend time kissing and cuddling and don’t rush into anything until you’re both ready.
No pressure: Always take her feelings into account, never pressuring her into sex, even if you’ve done it before.
All the fun without the risks
You don’t have to go all the way to have a good time. Having sex isn’t just about penetration, there are loads of ways to enjoy sex - and they can be less risky than full-sex too.
Building up to sexIf you and your girlfriend are close enough, but still getting to know each other, kissing, touching and gradually building up to oral sex is just as much fun as going all the way. There’s no risk of pregnancy and less chance of you getting an STI.
There’s no rushEnjoying foreplay without penetration helps you relax and get to know what she does and doesn’t like. It also gives you time to decide if she’s the right person to go all the way with.
A guy's point of view
Chlamydia and the Genital Warts virus are two of the most common STIs in teenagers .
You should never give oral sex if you have sores, cuts or ulcers on your mouth or genitals – remember, you can’t get pregnant by having oral sex but you can catch STIs.
Having sex is one thing, making your relationship go the distance and staying happy in it is another. Sometimes you need to talk about life’s serious stuff – like the first time you do it, contraception, or the ‘L’ word. Finding out how to talk about serious stuff with your girlfriend will keep you both happy, and she’ll respect you for it.
The right time
Just because you’re in a relationship, doesn’t mean you have to have sex – or that your girlfriend does. And even if you’ve done it once or twice, you still need to make sure she’s as keen as you are every time.
If you agree with the following – the time may be right:
It feels right.She loves me as much as I love her.We’ve talked about using condoms.I’m not under pressure.I won’t regret it tomorrowI’m not just trying to impress my mates.I’m not doing it to make her stay with me.I can stop at any point, and she’ll be fine with that.
Read more:What makes a relationship work?
Become a kissing master
Once you’ve got that first, awkward kiss out of the way, you can practice getting great at kissing!
Kissing’s one of the best bits about a relationship. As you get more used to kissing each other, you can try it with tongues or even kiss her cheeks, nose and neck in between snogs.
Be gentle when using your tongue for the first time – you want to make sure she likes it rather than sticking it down her throat!
Kissing can lead to more serious stuff, but it doesn’t have to. If she’s pushing you to take things further, talk to someone you trust.
What’s going through her mind?
Sex is a big deal for both of you – but what’s going through your girlfriend’s mind?
Trust: Most girls want to have sex with someone they love, care about and trust, taking things slowly and bonding first.
Naked truth: Lots of girls find getting their kit off in front of someone else really scary - if you think she looks great, tell her.
Baby worries: Most girls under 18 don’t want to get pregnant – carrying a condom shows you respect her and are being sensible.
Foreplay: Sex is an emotional experience for girls – they want to feel loved and respected. Spend time kissing and cuddling and don’t rush into anything until you’re both ready.
No pressure: Always take her feelings into account, never pressuring her into sex, even if you’ve done it before.
All the fun without the risks
You don’t have to go all the way to have a good time. Having sex isn’t just about penetration, there are loads of ways to enjoy sex - and they can be less risky than full-sex too.
Building up to sexIf you and your girlfriend are close enough, but still getting to know each other, kissing, touching and gradually building up to oral sex is just as much fun as going all the way. There’s no risk of pregnancy and less chance of you getting an STI.
There’s no rushEnjoying foreplay without penetration helps you relax and get to know what she does and doesn’t like. It also gives you time to decide if she’s the right person to go all the way with.
A guy's point of view
Chlamydia and the Genital Warts virus are two of the most common STIs in teenagers .
You should never give oral sex if you have sores, cuts or ulcers on your mouth or genitals – remember, you can’t get pregnant by having oral sex but you can catch STIs.
Sex and the Law
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Sex and the Law
What is the law on sex?The law says it's legal for you to consent to have sex from the age of 16. In Northern Ireland, you have to be 17. Gay sex is legal if you're both 16 or over in England, Wales and Scotland. In Northern Ireland it's 17. And 18 in Jersey. The law also says you must have sex in private.As long as girls are over 16 and both agree to it, lesbian sex is legal.Even if you are under 16 you can get free and confidential advice about sex, contraception and abortion at anytime. Visit your local doctor or young person's clinic to find out more.
Why is it illegal to have sex under 16?The laws on sex are there to protect young people from abuse or from having sex before they are ready. Different countries do have different laws, but in this country it is considered that people are not ready to have sex until they are 16. You might think it's unfair, but laws are there to protect you and not to try and spoil your fun. Think carefully before you have sex for the first time and whether it is really right for you as many people do regret having sex too young. If you do decide you are ready for sex then always use a condom to protect against unplanned pregnancies and STIs. And remember you can get free and confidential advice about sex, contraception and abortion even if you are under 16.
How old do you have to be to get married?You have to be 16 or older to get married in the UK. If you're under 18 (or under 20 in Jersey), you'll need your parents permission in writing. The exception is Scotland where you can marry once you're 16 without your parents' permission. If you want to know more about marriage laws, check out www.adviceguide.org.uk
Will doctors show my records/information to my parents?No. Doctors and nurses have a strict rule which says they have to keep all patient records and information completely private, even if you are under 16. Even if they think you are in serious danger they must talk to you first.
If you're still worried about the doctor telling someone, or even about being seen at the clinic or surgery, there are lots of other options. The 'Find help in your area' section shows you all the places where you can get free, confidential help and advice on anything to do with sex and relationships, contraception and abortion.
What's the law on abortion?For an abortion to be legal, you must be less than 24 weeks pregnant and two doctors must give their consent.
If you're under 16 and two doctors agree to your request for abortion, you can consent without your parents' involvement providing the doctor feels you understand the advice and the implications of the operation. However they will strongly encourage you to talk to your parents or an adult you trust.
Sex and the Law
What is the law on sex?The law says it's legal for you to consent to have sex from the age of 16. In Northern Ireland, you have to be 17. Gay sex is legal if you're both 16 or over in England, Wales and Scotland. In Northern Ireland it's 17. And 18 in Jersey. The law also says you must have sex in private.As long as girls are over 16 and both agree to it, lesbian sex is legal.Even if you are under 16 you can get free and confidential advice about sex, contraception and abortion at anytime. Visit your local doctor or young person's clinic to find out more.
Why is it illegal to have sex under 16?The laws on sex are there to protect young people from abuse or from having sex before they are ready. Different countries do have different laws, but in this country it is considered that people are not ready to have sex until they are 16. You might think it's unfair, but laws are there to protect you and not to try and spoil your fun. Think carefully before you have sex for the first time and whether it is really right for you as many people do regret having sex too young. If you do decide you are ready for sex then always use a condom to protect against unplanned pregnancies and STIs. And remember you can get free and confidential advice about sex, contraception and abortion even if you are under 16.
How old do you have to be to get married?You have to be 16 or older to get married in the UK. If you're under 18 (or under 20 in Jersey), you'll need your parents permission in writing. The exception is Scotland where you can marry once you're 16 without your parents' permission. If you want to know more about marriage laws, check out www.adviceguide.org.uk
Will doctors show my records/information to my parents?No. Doctors and nurses have a strict rule which says they have to keep all patient records and information completely private, even if you are under 16. Even if they think you are in serious danger they must talk to you first.
If you're still worried about the doctor telling someone, or even about being seen at the clinic or surgery, there are lots of other options. The 'Find help in your area' section shows you all the places where you can get free, confidential help and advice on anything to do with sex and relationships, contraception and abortion.
What's the law on abortion?For an abortion to be legal, you must be less than 24 weeks pregnant and two doctors must give their consent.
If you're under 16 and two doctors agree to your request for abortion, you can consent without your parents' involvement providing the doctor feels you understand the advice and the implications of the operation. However they will strongly encourage you to talk to your parents or an adult you trust.
THE GRACE OF GOD
"THE GRACE OF GOD"
"...by grace are ye saved through faith; and that not of yourselves: it is the gift of God. " -Ephesians 2:8
CONSIDER A FRESH the often asked question on the above text: "What is referred to by the last phrase, "it is the gift of God?" Does the apostle teach that grace is the gift of God, or does he say it is salvation, or perhaps that faith is the gift of God?
Look first at the word 'grace.' Aside from the Apostle James' reference to a flower's vanished glory, both 'grace' and 'favor' in the New Testament King James Version are always a translation of the same Greek word, charis (khar'ece, Strong #5485). Its first definition in Strong's Greek Lexicon is "graciousness,...of manner or act." And it is of interest to note that Webster's Ninth Collegiate Dictionary puts as its first definition of grace, "unmerited divine assistance given man for his regeneration or sanctification." So grace is favor, "unmerited favor."
Salvation by Grace
Grace is, therefore, God's unmerited favor - His goodness toward those who have no claim on, nor reason to expect, divine favor. The principal manifestation of God's grace has heen in the form of a gift. We think the apostle meant that salvation is "the gift of God," or, as emphatically put in the Greek, "of God is it the gift." Salvation is not our achievement, but it is a gift from God. That truth is made stronger by contrast. It is 'not of ourselves' and "not of works." Salvation is indeed the most extraordinary expression of God's grace.
Salvation is of divine origin. But it is not anything that God was bound to arrange by the necessity of His nature. It is the result of His gracious will. Had it not been for His good pleasure, salvation would never have come. "By grace are ye saved." The Greek grammar denotes not the act of being saved, but the fact of having been saved. God's grace rather than human merit is the source of the whole arrangement. We are saved gratuitously. Salvation is a gift; it is not earned.
Faith
But what about faith? We inquire into this because, other than the clearly stated gift of miraculously-conferred faith (1 Cor. 12:9), some suggest that it is faith which "is the gift of God." Certainly faith is a received quality. It is among blessings which answer to Paul's rhetorical question, "what has thou that thou didst not receive?" (1 Cor. 4:7) But the elements of character which please God, among which is faith, as well as the temporal possessions and necessities held by Jesus' disciples, are generally attained through conscious effort. They are 'received' through our cooperation amidst God's overruling providences.
Faith, wherever present, exists in the mind, and it is generated by the holy spirit's influence of light and peace. Faith, in common with every other Christian virtue, exists in the heart that has responded to spiritual influences. Paul wrote that "all [men] have not faith." (2 Thes. 3:2) That does not suggest, however, that those who have faith received it as "the gift of God" as though an answer to our question. It is one's own mind and being that believes. It is not possible for God to believe for man, and convey that belief as a gift. The apostle wrote, rather, that "Faith cometh by hearing, and hearing by the Word of God. "-Rom. 10:17
Paul understood that faith is built and constructed; it grows and enlarges. He encouraged believers to increase in faith: "We are bound to thank God always for you, brethren, as it is meet, because that your faith groweth exceedingly, and the charity of every one of you all toward each other aboundeth." (2 Thes. 1:3) 'Soundness of faith' comes through hearing, thinking, learning and trusting, and sometimes by victory following rebuke.-Titus 1:13
Salvation through Faith
Salvation is not of ourselves (as seen foregoing). We are saved by grace. The salvation comes through faith in God's revealed purpose in His Son who died for all. Nothing aside from faith would enable our receiving of the gift of salvation. We of the human family were justly condemned to death for sin and disobedience. Those who break God's righteous law have no standing before Him in their own righteousness. Inasmuch as "there is none righteous, no, not one," all need God's grace and favor.
None in the human family has a vantage point or place of approach from which to require or demand God's blessing. God Himself needed to make the first move in the rescue of man. And He did. After the first human pair entered the broad road leading into death, the LORD God made a promise intimating the eventual recovery of mankind from Satan's influence. And God is specially pleased with those who believe, even though few respond to His promises. Those who do respond to God's revealed will are greatly blessed. One of those was Noah. The word 'grace' is first used in Scripture in regard to him. "But Noah found grace in the eyes of the LORD." (Gen. 6:8) The faith of Noah in God's promises saved him and his family from death in the flood.
But now that Jesus has laid down his human life in sacrifice as an atonement for sin, those who follow on in faith in the steps of their heaven-sent Redeemer receive eternal-life salvation. Such faith makes all things new: those far off are brought nigh, they pass from death to life, from disobedience to sonship, from evil conduct to good works, from fleshly desires to spiritual fellowship, from children of wrath to sitting in the heavenlies. Those improved relationships are described by the Apostle Paul:
'And you were dead in your trespasses and sins, in which you formerly walked according to the course of this world, according to the prince ofthe power of the air, ofthe spirit that is now working in the sons of disobedience. Among them we too all formerly lived in the lusts of our flesh, indulging the desires of the flesh and of the mind, and were by nature children of wrath, even as the rest. But God, being rich in mercy, because of His great love with which He loved us, even when we were dead in our transgressions, made us alive together with Christ (by grace you have been saved), and raised us up with Him, and seated us with Him in the heavenly places, in Christ Jesus, in order that in the ages to come He might show the surpassing riches in His grace in kindness toward us in Christ Jesus. For by grace you have been saved through faith; and that not of yourselves, it is the gift of God; not as a result of works, that no one should boast For we are His workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand, that we should walk in them. Therefore remember, that formerly you, the Gentiles in the flesh,...were at that time separate from Christ, excluded from the commonwealth of Israel, and strangers in the covenants of promise, having no hope and without God in the world. But now in Christ Jesus you who formerly were far off have been brought near by the blood of Christ. "-Eph. 2:1-13 NASB
The Way of Salvation
Sin, death, and accompanying sorrows have through the ages, as today, prompted many to inquire into God's saving grace. Our recognition of God's blessing leads to confession of sins and shortcomings, and true heart belief. "Believe on the Lord Jesus Christ and thou shalt be saved. " (Acts 16:31) That answer of Paul to the fearful prison keeper is still true. None need fear to put trust in Jesus. He purchased all mankind with His own precious blood. He has received all power in heaven and in earth. Salvation is free to all who trust in Him and continue following on in faith. All devoted believers have authority to speak on behalf of Christ. We say in Christ's stead to the sincere and honest hearted, "be ye reconciled to God." (2 Cor. 5:20) Our commission is to direct the sin-weary and heavy-laden to the Savior of all men!
Jesus clearly taught that salvation comes through faith. "Truly, truly, I say to you, he who hears My word, and believes Him who sent Me, has eternal life." (John 5:24 NASB) Faith is taking God at His word, as Paul wrote: "Faith comes from hearing, and hearing by the word of Christ. "-Rom. 10:17 NASB
This is truth beyond doubting! We are saved by grace, through faith, through believing the Word of truth. The gospel promises salvation, full and free. God's loving mercy is the "good news" message to the sin-sick and weary-salvation offered freely to all, without money and without price.-Isa. 55:1-3
A living and active love for God expands with one's enlarging appreciation of His unmerited favor in the great salvation. "We love Him, because He first loved us." (1 John 4:19) And when we come to love God and our Lord Jesus, we come to love those who are of the same mind. We grow in loving sympathy for our brethren in their fight of faith. And we come to love all mankind, so loved by God as to send His only begotten Son to suffer cruel death, the price of human redemption.
Gifts from God
Jesus was sent to "save his people from their sins. " (Mat. 1:21) He came to save from death, which is caused by sin. The saved thus have eternal life. "And this is the record that God hath given to us eternal life and this life is in his Son. He that hath [belief in] the Son hath life; and he that hath not [belief in] the Son of God hath not life." (1 John 5:11,12) By God's grace, salvation life is free as a gift through faith.
Again and again Gods gift was affirmed. By Jesus to Nicodemus: "For God so loved the world that he gave his only begotten Son that whosoever believeth in him should not perish but have everlasting life." - John 3 16
Again by Jesus to the woman: "Whosoever drinketh of the water that I shall give him shall never thirst but the water that I shall give him shall be in him a well of water springing up into everlasting life." - John 4:14
By Paul to the Corinthians: "Thanks be unto God for his unspeakable [indescribable NASB] gift." - 2 Cor 9:15
Again by Paul to the Romans: "For the wages of sin is death; but the gift of God is eternal life through Jesus Christ our Lord." - Rom.6.23
"The Grace of God"
What a nice expression - "the grace of God." It prompts pleasant and peaceful thoughts about our Father, the great Creator But Paul's use of "the grace of God" phrase in Titus 2:11 appears to be with a specific purpose There the expression refers to the Savior of mankind. That four word phrase "the grace of God is a synonym for Jesus: "For the grace of God has appeared for the salvation of all men." (RSV) How beautiful! The sequence of phrases puts in good perspective the reality of His manifestation. He is the gift of God's grace by which all men may be saved. How wonderful to know it! "The grace of God has appeared!"
Paul wrote a similarly-identifying phrase. Its words are specific too - "the goodness and loving kindness of God." The context shows that those words refer to Jesus. "But when the goodness and loving kindness of God our Savior appeared ["God our Savior" - a reference to the Father, of which more to be said later], he [God] saved us, not because of deeds done by us in righteousness, but in virtue of his own mercy by the washing of regeneration and renewal in the holy spirit which he poured out upon us richly through Jesus Christ our Savio." (Titus 3:4-6 RSV) "The goodness and loving kindness of God" another synonym for Jesus, a companion phrase to that in Titus 2:11 - "the grace of God."
The Apostle in Hebrews 2:9 attributes salvation from death to God's grace: "...we see Jesus who was made a little lower than the angels for the suffering of death... that he by the grace of God should taste death for every man." The thought is that Jesus experienced death so that every man who dies need not stay dead for ever. Indeed what grace...from "the God of all grace." -1 Pet. 5:10
Paul also shows that "the grace of that one man Jesus Christ" in conjunction with or united with "the grace of God" provided the free gift. This in Rom. 5:15,16 (RSV): "But the free gift is not like the trespass. For if many died through one man's trespass, much more have the grace of God and the free gift in the grace of that one man Jesus Christ abounded for many. And the free gift is not like the effect of that one man's sin. For the judgment following one trespass brought condemnation, but the free gift following many trespasses brings justification." The twin thoughts which attach to the words "the free gift" relate as cause and effect. The first thought is of Jesus - given in death as man's ransom. The second thought is the benefit of that ransom conferred upon all who really believe on Jesus - justification with its accompanying salvation.
"God Our Savior"
It is generally acknowledged by commentators that the words "God our Savior" noted above in "the kindness of God our Savior" refer to God himself, not to His Son Jesus. The same three-word phrase was spoken in prayer by Mary of the almighty God and heavenly Father (Luke 1:46-48), and written by Jude in verse 25 of his epistle, and three times by Paul (Titus 2:10, 3:4, 1 Tim: 1:1, 2:3). Aware that God is the architect and all-wise planner of salvation and its process, they all acknowledge the Father as "God our Savior." He is the one God Who has been from everlasting and Who shall be unto everlasting, and Who enlisted the faithful service of His beloved Son.
Grace for Grace
Jesus' disciples perceived that He who walked among them was indeed "full of grace and truth." (John 1:14) He always reflected God's favor. Fellowship with His Father was never interrupted. Being now perfected in the heavenlies, completed by the things which he suffered, having demonstrated faultless obedience despite temptation and accusations of blasphemy, Jesus sends forth of His fulness as His blessing upon believers.
The Apostle John affirmed himself as one of those so greatly blessed.
"For of His fulness we have all received, and grace upon grace. For the law was given through Moses; grace and truth were realized through Jesus Christ." - John 1:16,17, NASB
"Grace for grace"(KJV)...just what does that mean? Surely not that the grace of the old covenant is replaced by that of the new administration. Grace interchanging with grace is meant; grace replaced by fuller grace; greater depths to our spiritual relationship and fellowship; greater measures of spiritual understanding, sustenance and strength; continual impressions of received favor, new grace coming upon and superseding that formerly received. This becomes true in our individual experience. Grace is enjoyed in proportion to our growth in appreciation for God's favor channeled through our Redeemer. And that all comes because of and out of His fulness.
"For out of His fulness (abundance) we all received - all had a share and we were all supplied with - one grace after another and spiritual blessing upon spiritual blessing, and even favor upon favor and gift [heaped! upon gift. For while the Law was given through Moses, grace - unearned, undeserved favor and spiritual bless- ing - and truth came through Jesus Christ. " - John 1:16,17, Amplified Version
God's Riches It is God's richness in grace which provided the plan for deliverance from disobedience, sin and death. Paul gave that truth prominent place in Ephesians for our close consideration.
'He predestined us to adoption as sons through Jesus Christ to Himself according to the kind intention of His will, to the praise of the glory of His grace, which He freely bestowed on us in the Beloved. In Him we have redemption through His blood, the forgiveness of our trespasses, according to the riches of His [God's] grace. " - Eph. 1:5-7 NASB Without God's grace, death would mean extinction for all members of the condemned intelligent creation. God has freely wrought His grace to our forgiveness and to our inheritance of eternal life. It was all in view from early time. God predestined sonship for all repentant trespassers who will avail themselves of His gracious provision of salvation.
Paul emphasized again to the Ephesians God's promised riches of grace to the redeemed. "In order that in the ages to come He might show the surpassing riches ofHis grace in kindness toward us in Christ Jesus." - Eph. 2:7 NASB
Paul also used the delightful phrase, "the grace of God" early in Colossians. And again it seems to be another direct reference to Jesus. "You previously heard in the word of truth, the gospel, which has come to you, just as in all the world also it is constantly bearing fruit and increasing, even as it has been doing in you also since the day you heard of it and understood the grace of God in truth." - Col. 1:5,6 NASB There was a time with each of us, as with the Colossians, when we did not know "the grace of God in truth." They, perhaps as we, may have only heard of Jesus, knowing little about Him, His origin, His purpose, and the hope of the life that centers in Him. But a time came when we did know about God's great grace. Such was the happy experience of those Colossians. Paul took their minds back to the time - when they heard, knew, and believed as truth the words about "the grace of God." "In the word of truth, the gospel" ... "since the day ye heard, and knew the grace of God in truth." He mixed, merged and repeated words that pertain to salvation...truth, gospel, the grace of God, hearing. Again Paul intentionally put in focus the important aspects of salvation which are supplied through God's riches by Christ Jesus our Lord, the living example of divine grace Quotations from King James Version except as indicated RSV - Revised Standard Version NASB-New American Standard Bible
"...by grace are ye saved through faith; and that not of yourselves: it is the gift of God. " -Ephesians 2:8
CONSIDER A FRESH the often asked question on the above text: "What is referred to by the last phrase, "it is the gift of God?" Does the apostle teach that grace is the gift of God, or does he say it is salvation, or perhaps that faith is the gift of God?
Look first at the word 'grace.' Aside from the Apostle James' reference to a flower's vanished glory, both 'grace' and 'favor' in the New Testament King James Version are always a translation of the same Greek word, charis (khar'ece, Strong #5485). Its first definition in Strong's Greek Lexicon is "graciousness,...of manner or act." And it is of interest to note that Webster's Ninth Collegiate Dictionary puts as its first definition of grace, "unmerited divine assistance given man for his regeneration or sanctification." So grace is favor, "unmerited favor."
Salvation by Grace
Grace is, therefore, God's unmerited favor - His goodness toward those who have no claim on, nor reason to expect, divine favor. The principal manifestation of God's grace has heen in the form of a gift. We think the apostle meant that salvation is "the gift of God," or, as emphatically put in the Greek, "of God is it the gift." Salvation is not our achievement, but it is a gift from God. That truth is made stronger by contrast. It is 'not of ourselves' and "not of works." Salvation is indeed the most extraordinary expression of God's grace.
Salvation is of divine origin. But it is not anything that God was bound to arrange by the necessity of His nature. It is the result of His gracious will. Had it not been for His good pleasure, salvation would never have come. "By grace are ye saved." The Greek grammar denotes not the act of being saved, but the fact of having been saved. God's grace rather than human merit is the source of the whole arrangement. We are saved gratuitously. Salvation is a gift; it is not earned.
Faith
But what about faith? We inquire into this because, other than the clearly stated gift of miraculously-conferred faith (1 Cor. 12:9), some suggest that it is faith which "is the gift of God." Certainly faith is a received quality. It is among blessings which answer to Paul's rhetorical question, "what has thou that thou didst not receive?" (1 Cor. 4:7) But the elements of character which please God, among which is faith, as well as the temporal possessions and necessities held by Jesus' disciples, are generally attained through conscious effort. They are 'received' through our cooperation amidst God's overruling providences.
Faith, wherever present, exists in the mind, and it is generated by the holy spirit's influence of light and peace. Faith, in common with every other Christian virtue, exists in the heart that has responded to spiritual influences. Paul wrote that "all [men] have not faith." (2 Thes. 3:2) That does not suggest, however, that those who have faith received it as "the gift of God" as though an answer to our question. It is one's own mind and being that believes. It is not possible for God to believe for man, and convey that belief as a gift. The apostle wrote, rather, that "Faith cometh by hearing, and hearing by the Word of God. "-Rom. 10:17
Paul understood that faith is built and constructed; it grows and enlarges. He encouraged believers to increase in faith: "We are bound to thank God always for you, brethren, as it is meet, because that your faith groweth exceedingly, and the charity of every one of you all toward each other aboundeth." (2 Thes. 1:3) 'Soundness of faith' comes through hearing, thinking, learning and trusting, and sometimes by victory following rebuke.-Titus 1:13
Salvation through Faith
Salvation is not of ourselves (as seen foregoing). We are saved by grace. The salvation comes through faith in God's revealed purpose in His Son who died for all. Nothing aside from faith would enable our receiving of the gift of salvation. We of the human family were justly condemned to death for sin and disobedience. Those who break God's righteous law have no standing before Him in their own righteousness. Inasmuch as "there is none righteous, no, not one," all need God's grace and favor.
None in the human family has a vantage point or place of approach from which to require or demand God's blessing. God Himself needed to make the first move in the rescue of man. And He did. After the first human pair entered the broad road leading into death, the LORD God made a promise intimating the eventual recovery of mankind from Satan's influence. And God is specially pleased with those who believe, even though few respond to His promises. Those who do respond to God's revealed will are greatly blessed. One of those was Noah. The word 'grace' is first used in Scripture in regard to him. "But Noah found grace in the eyes of the LORD." (Gen. 6:8) The faith of Noah in God's promises saved him and his family from death in the flood.
But now that Jesus has laid down his human life in sacrifice as an atonement for sin, those who follow on in faith in the steps of their heaven-sent Redeemer receive eternal-life salvation. Such faith makes all things new: those far off are brought nigh, they pass from death to life, from disobedience to sonship, from evil conduct to good works, from fleshly desires to spiritual fellowship, from children of wrath to sitting in the heavenlies. Those improved relationships are described by the Apostle Paul:
'And you were dead in your trespasses and sins, in which you formerly walked according to the course of this world, according to the prince ofthe power of the air, ofthe spirit that is now working in the sons of disobedience. Among them we too all formerly lived in the lusts of our flesh, indulging the desires of the flesh and of the mind, and were by nature children of wrath, even as the rest. But God, being rich in mercy, because of His great love with which He loved us, even when we were dead in our transgressions, made us alive together with Christ (by grace you have been saved), and raised us up with Him, and seated us with Him in the heavenly places, in Christ Jesus, in order that in the ages to come He might show the surpassing riches in His grace in kindness toward us in Christ Jesus. For by grace you have been saved through faith; and that not of yourselves, it is the gift of God; not as a result of works, that no one should boast For we are His workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand, that we should walk in them. Therefore remember, that formerly you, the Gentiles in the flesh,...were at that time separate from Christ, excluded from the commonwealth of Israel, and strangers in the covenants of promise, having no hope and without God in the world. But now in Christ Jesus you who formerly were far off have been brought near by the blood of Christ. "-Eph. 2:1-13 NASB
The Way of Salvation
Sin, death, and accompanying sorrows have through the ages, as today, prompted many to inquire into God's saving grace. Our recognition of God's blessing leads to confession of sins and shortcomings, and true heart belief. "Believe on the Lord Jesus Christ and thou shalt be saved. " (Acts 16:31) That answer of Paul to the fearful prison keeper is still true. None need fear to put trust in Jesus. He purchased all mankind with His own precious blood. He has received all power in heaven and in earth. Salvation is free to all who trust in Him and continue following on in faith. All devoted believers have authority to speak on behalf of Christ. We say in Christ's stead to the sincere and honest hearted, "be ye reconciled to God." (2 Cor. 5:20) Our commission is to direct the sin-weary and heavy-laden to the Savior of all men!
Jesus clearly taught that salvation comes through faith. "Truly, truly, I say to you, he who hears My word, and believes Him who sent Me, has eternal life." (John 5:24 NASB) Faith is taking God at His word, as Paul wrote: "Faith comes from hearing, and hearing by the word of Christ. "-Rom. 10:17 NASB
This is truth beyond doubting! We are saved by grace, through faith, through believing the Word of truth. The gospel promises salvation, full and free. God's loving mercy is the "good news" message to the sin-sick and weary-salvation offered freely to all, without money and without price.-Isa. 55:1-3
A living and active love for God expands with one's enlarging appreciation of His unmerited favor in the great salvation. "We love Him, because He first loved us." (1 John 4:19) And when we come to love God and our Lord Jesus, we come to love those who are of the same mind. We grow in loving sympathy for our brethren in their fight of faith. And we come to love all mankind, so loved by God as to send His only begotten Son to suffer cruel death, the price of human redemption.
Gifts from God
Jesus was sent to "save his people from their sins. " (Mat. 1:21) He came to save from death, which is caused by sin. The saved thus have eternal life. "And this is the record that God hath given to us eternal life and this life is in his Son. He that hath [belief in] the Son hath life; and he that hath not [belief in] the Son of God hath not life." (1 John 5:11,12) By God's grace, salvation life is free as a gift through faith.
Again and again Gods gift was affirmed. By Jesus to Nicodemus: "For God so loved the world that he gave his only begotten Son that whosoever believeth in him should not perish but have everlasting life." - John 3 16
Again by Jesus to the woman: "Whosoever drinketh of the water that I shall give him shall never thirst but the water that I shall give him shall be in him a well of water springing up into everlasting life." - John 4:14
By Paul to the Corinthians: "Thanks be unto God for his unspeakable [indescribable NASB] gift." - 2 Cor 9:15
Again by Paul to the Romans: "For the wages of sin is death; but the gift of God is eternal life through Jesus Christ our Lord." - Rom.6.23
"The Grace of God"
What a nice expression - "the grace of God." It prompts pleasant and peaceful thoughts about our Father, the great Creator But Paul's use of "the grace of God" phrase in Titus 2:11 appears to be with a specific purpose There the expression refers to the Savior of mankind. That four word phrase "the grace of God is a synonym for Jesus: "For the grace of God has appeared for the salvation of all men." (RSV) How beautiful! The sequence of phrases puts in good perspective the reality of His manifestation. He is the gift of God's grace by which all men may be saved. How wonderful to know it! "The grace of God has appeared!"
Paul wrote a similarly-identifying phrase. Its words are specific too - "the goodness and loving kindness of God." The context shows that those words refer to Jesus. "But when the goodness and loving kindness of God our Savior appeared ["God our Savior" - a reference to the Father, of which more to be said later], he [God] saved us, not because of deeds done by us in righteousness, but in virtue of his own mercy by the washing of regeneration and renewal in the holy spirit which he poured out upon us richly through Jesus Christ our Savio." (Titus 3:4-6 RSV) "The goodness and loving kindness of God" another synonym for Jesus, a companion phrase to that in Titus 2:11 - "the grace of God."
The Apostle in Hebrews 2:9 attributes salvation from death to God's grace: "...we see Jesus who was made a little lower than the angels for the suffering of death... that he by the grace of God should taste death for every man." The thought is that Jesus experienced death so that every man who dies need not stay dead for ever. Indeed what grace...from "the God of all grace." -1 Pet. 5:10
Paul also shows that "the grace of that one man Jesus Christ" in conjunction with or united with "the grace of God" provided the free gift. This in Rom. 5:15,16 (RSV): "But the free gift is not like the trespass. For if many died through one man's trespass, much more have the grace of God and the free gift in the grace of that one man Jesus Christ abounded for many. And the free gift is not like the effect of that one man's sin. For the judgment following one trespass brought condemnation, but the free gift following many trespasses brings justification." The twin thoughts which attach to the words "the free gift" relate as cause and effect. The first thought is of Jesus - given in death as man's ransom. The second thought is the benefit of that ransom conferred upon all who really believe on Jesus - justification with its accompanying salvation.
"God Our Savior"
It is generally acknowledged by commentators that the words "God our Savior" noted above in "the kindness of God our Savior" refer to God himself, not to His Son Jesus. The same three-word phrase was spoken in prayer by Mary of the almighty God and heavenly Father (Luke 1:46-48), and written by Jude in verse 25 of his epistle, and three times by Paul (Titus 2:10, 3:4, 1 Tim: 1:1, 2:3). Aware that God is the architect and all-wise planner of salvation and its process, they all acknowledge the Father as "God our Savior." He is the one God Who has been from everlasting and Who shall be unto everlasting, and Who enlisted the faithful service of His beloved Son.
Grace for Grace
Jesus' disciples perceived that He who walked among them was indeed "full of grace and truth." (John 1:14) He always reflected God's favor. Fellowship with His Father was never interrupted. Being now perfected in the heavenlies, completed by the things which he suffered, having demonstrated faultless obedience despite temptation and accusations of blasphemy, Jesus sends forth of His fulness as His blessing upon believers.
The Apostle John affirmed himself as one of those so greatly blessed.
"For of His fulness we have all received, and grace upon grace. For the law was given through Moses; grace and truth were realized through Jesus Christ." - John 1:16,17, NASB
"Grace for grace"(KJV)...just what does that mean? Surely not that the grace of the old covenant is replaced by that of the new administration. Grace interchanging with grace is meant; grace replaced by fuller grace; greater depths to our spiritual relationship and fellowship; greater measures of spiritual understanding, sustenance and strength; continual impressions of received favor, new grace coming upon and superseding that formerly received. This becomes true in our individual experience. Grace is enjoyed in proportion to our growth in appreciation for God's favor channeled through our Redeemer. And that all comes because of and out of His fulness.
"For out of His fulness (abundance) we all received - all had a share and we were all supplied with - one grace after another and spiritual blessing upon spiritual blessing, and even favor upon favor and gift [heaped! upon gift. For while the Law was given through Moses, grace - unearned, undeserved favor and spiritual bless- ing - and truth came through Jesus Christ. " - John 1:16,17, Amplified Version
God's Riches It is God's richness in grace which provided the plan for deliverance from disobedience, sin and death. Paul gave that truth prominent place in Ephesians for our close consideration.
'He predestined us to adoption as sons through Jesus Christ to Himself according to the kind intention of His will, to the praise of the glory of His grace, which He freely bestowed on us in the Beloved. In Him we have redemption through His blood, the forgiveness of our trespasses, according to the riches of His [God's] grace. " - Eph. 1:5-7 NASB Without God's grace, death would mean extinction for all members of the condemned intelligent creation. God has freely wrought His grace to our forgiveness and to our inheritance of eternal life. It was all in view from early time. God predestined sonship for all repentant trespassers who will avail themselves of His gracious provision of salvation.
Paul emphasized again to the Ephesians God's promised riches of grace to the redeemed. "In order that in the ages to come He might show the surpassing riches ofHis grace in kindness toward us in Christ Jesus." - Eph. 2:7 NASB
Paul also used the delightful phrase, "the grace of God" early in Colossians. And again it seems to be another direct reference to Jesus. "You previously heard in the word of truth, the gospel, which has come to you, just as in all the world also it is constantly bearing fruit and increasing, even as it has been doing in you also since the day you heard of it and understood the grace of God in truth." - Col. 1:5,6 NASB There was a time with each of us, as with the Colossians, when we did not know "the grace of God in truth." They, perhaps as we, may have only heard of Jesus, knowing little about Him, His origin, His purpose, and the hope of the life that centers in Him. But a time came when we did know about God's great grace. Such was the happy experience of those Colossians. Paul took their minds back to the time - when they heard, knew, and believed as truth the words about "the grace of God." "In the word of truth, the gospel" ... "since the day ye heard, and knew the grace of God in truth." He mixed, merged and repeated words that pertain to salvation...truth, gospel, the grace of God, hearing. Again Paul intentionally put in focus the important aspects of salvation which are supplied through God's riches by Christ Jesus our Lord, the living example of divine grace Quotations from King James Version except as indicated RSV - Revised Standard Version NASB-New American Standard Bible
How can I overcome sin in my Christian life?
Question: "How can I overcome sin in my Christian life?"Answer: The Bible talks about the following resources that we have to overcome our sinfulness:(1) The Holy Spirit - One gift that God has given us (His church) to be victorious in Christian living is the Holy Spirit. God contrasts the deeds of the flesh and the fruit of the Spirit in Galatians 5:16-25. In that passage we are called upon to walk in the Spirit. "All believers already possess the Holy Spirit, but this passage tells us that we need to walk in the Spirit, yielding to His control. This means choosing to put "shoe leather" to the Holy Spirit's promptings in our lives rather than following the flesh.The difference that the Holy Spirit can make in a believer's life is demonstrated in the life of Peter, who before being filled with the Holy Spirit denied Jesus three times, and this after he had said he would follow Christ to the death. After being filled, he spoke openly and strongly to the Jews at Pentecost of the Savior.One walks in the Spirit as he tries not to "put a lid" on the Spirit's promptings ("quenching the Spirit" as spoken of in 1 Thessalonians 5:19) and seeks instead to be filled with the Spirit (Ephesians 5:18-21). How is one filled with the Holy Spirit? First of all, it is of God's choosing even as it was in the Old Testament. He selected individuals and specific incidents in the Old Testament to fill individuals He chose to accomplish a work that He wanted done (Genesis 41:38; Exodus 31:3; Numbers 24:2; 1 Samuel 10:10; etc.) I believe that there is evidence in Ephesians 5:18-21 and Colossians 3:16 that God chooses to fill those who are filling themselves with the Word of God as evidenced by the fact the the result of each filling in those verses is similar. Thus, that brings us to our next resource.(2) The Word of God, the Bible - 2 Timothy 3:16-17 says that God has given us His Word to equip us for every good work. It teaches us how to live and what to believe, it reveals to us when we have chosen wrong paths to take, it helps us get back on the right path, and helps us to stay on that path. As Heb. 4:12 shares, it is living and powerful and is able to penetrate to our hearts to root out the deepest of problems that humanly speaking cannot be overcome. The psalmist talks about its life-changing power in Psalm 119:9,11,105 and other verses. Joshua was told that the key to his success in overcoming his enemies (an analogy to our spiritual battle) was to not forget this resource but rather to meditate on it day and night so that he could observe it. This he did, even when what God commanded him did not make military sense, and this was the key to his victory in His battle for the Promised Land.This resource is commonly one that we treat in a trivial fashion. We give token service to it by carrying our Bibles to church or reading a daily devotional or a chapter a day, but we fail to memorize it, meditate on it, looking for application in our lives, confessing sins it reveals, praising God for the gifts it reveals He has given us. We are often either anorexic or bulimic when it comes to the Bible. We either intake just enough to keep us alive spiritually by eating from the Word just when we go to church (but never ingesting enough to be healthy, thriving Christians) or we come to feed often but never meditating on it long enough to get spiritual nutrition from it.It is important that if you have not made a habit of studying God's Word on a daily basis in a meaningful way, and of memorizing it as you come across passages the Holy Spirit impresses upon your heart, that you begin making a habit of it. I also suggest you start a journal (either on computer if you type faster than you write) or in a spiral bound notebook, etc. Make it a habit to not leave the Word until you have written down something you gained from it. I often record prayers to God asking Him to help me change in the areas that He has spoken to me about as well. The Bible is the tool that the Spirit uses in our lives and others' lives (Ephesians 6:17), an essential and major part of the armor that God gives us to fight our spiritual battles (Ephesians 6:12-18)!(3) Prayer - This is another essential resource that God has given. Again, it is a resource that Christians often give lip service to but make poor use of. We have prayer meetings, times of prayer, etc., but we do not find the use of it that the early church gives examples of (Acts 3:1; 4:31; 6:4;13:1-3, etc.). Paul repeatedly mentions how he prayed for those he ministered to. Nor do we, when we are by ourselves, use this great resource that is available to us. But God has given us wonderful promises concerning prayer (Matthew 7:7-11; Luke 18:1-8; John 6:23-27; 1 John 5:14-15, etc.). And again, Paul includes it in his passage on preparing for spiritual battle (Ephesians 6:18)!How important is it? When you look again at Peter, you have Christ's words to him in the Garden of Gethsemane before Peter's denial. There, as Jesus is praying, Peter is sleeping. Jesus wakes him up and says, "Watch and pray, that ye enter not into temptation: the spirit indeed is willing, but the flesh is weak" (Matthew 26:41). You, like Peter, want to do what is right but are not finding the strength. We need to follow God's admonition to keep seeking, keep knocking, keep asking...and He will give us the strength that we need (Matthew 7:7f.). But we need to give more than simple lip service to this resource.I am not saying that prayer is magical. It is not. God is awesome. Prayer is simply acknowledging our own limitations and God's inexhaustible power and turning to Him for that strength to do what HE wants us to do (not what WE want to do) (1 John 5:14-15).(4) The Church - This last resource is again one that we tend to ignore. When Jesus sent His disciples out, He sent them out two by two (Matthew 10:1). When we read about the missionary journeys in Acts, they did not go out one at a time, but in groups of two or more. Jesus said that where two or three are gathered in His name, He is there in their midst (Matthew 18:20). He commands us not to forsake the assembling of ourselves together as was the manner of some but to use that time for encouraging one another in love and good works (Hebrews 10:24-25). He tells us to confess our faults to one another (James 5:16). In the wisdom literature of the Old Testament, we are told that as iron sharpens iron, so a man sharpens the countenance of his friend (Proverbs 27:17) "A threefold cord is not easily broken." There is strength in numbers (Ecclesiastes 4:11-12).Some that I know have found brothers in Christ or sisters in Christ (if you are a female) who get together by phone or in person and share how they are doing in their Christian walk, how they may have struggled, etc. and commit to pray for each other and hold each other accountable in applying God's Word to their relationships, etc.Sometimes change comes quickly. Sometimes, in other areas, it comes more slowly. But God has promised us that as we make use of His resources, He WILL bring about change in our lives. Persevere knowing that He is faithful to His promises!Recommended Resource:
Overcoming Sin and Temptation by John Owen
Overcoming Sin and Temptation by John Owen
COURTSHIP AND MARRIAGE
COURTSHIP AND MARRIAGE
Marriage is something that will influence and affect your life, both in this world, and in the world to come. A sincere Christian will not advance his plans in this direction without the knowledge that God approves his course. He will not want to choose for himself, but will feel that God must choose for him. We are not to please ourselves, for Christ pleased not himself, I would not be understood to mean that any one is to marry one whom he does not love. This would be sin. But fancy and the emotional nature must not be allowed to lead on to ruin. God requires the whole heart, the supreme affections.
As we keep these thought in mind, let us look at four aspects of courtship and marriage.
Factors To Consider In Your Choice Of Partner
Qualities To Be Sought In A Prospective Wife
Qualities To Be Sought In A Prospective Husband
How To Choose The Right Person
Factors To Consider In Your Choice Of Partner
The Lord desires His servants to preserve their holy and peculiar character. "Be ye not unequally yoked together with unbelievers," is His command; "for what fellowship hath righteousness with unrighteousness? and what communion hath light with darkness? and what concord hath Christ with Belial? or what part hath he that believeth with an infidel? and what agreement hath the temple of God with idols? for ye are the temple of the living God; as God hath said, I will dwell in them, and walk in them; and I will be their God, and they shall be My people. Wherefore come out from among them, and be ye separate, saith the Lord, and touch not the unclean thing; and I will receive you, and will be a Father unto you, and ye shall be My sons and daughters, saith the Lord Almighty." 2 Corinthians 6:14-18.
Never was there a time in earth's history when this warning was more appropriate than at the present time. Many professed Christians think, like Solomon, that they may unite with the ungodly, because their influence over those who are in the wrong will be beneficial; but too often they themselves, entrapped and overcome, yield their sacred faith, sacrifice principle, and separate themselves from God. One false step leads to another, till at last they place themselves where they cannot hope to break the chains that bind them.
Great care should be taken by Christian youth in the formation of friendships and in the choice of companions. Take heed, lest what you now think to be pure gold turns out to be base metal. Worldly associations tend to place obstructions in the way of your service to God, and many souls are ruined by unhappy unions, either business or matrimonial, with those who can never elevate or ennoble. Never should God's people venture upon forbidden ground. Marriage between believers and unbelievers is forbidden by God. But too often the unconverted heart follows its own desires, and marriages unsanctioned by God are formed. Because of this many men and women are without hope and without God in the world. Their noble aspirations are dead; by a chain of circumstances they are held in Satan's net. Those who are ruled by passion and impulse will have a bitter harvest to reap in this life, and their course may result in the loss of their souls.
The marriage institution was designed of Heaven to be a blessing to man; but, in a general sense, it has been abused in such a manner as to make it a dreadful curse. Most of men and women have acted, in entering the marriage relation, as though the only question for them to settle was, whether they loved each other. But they should realize that a responsibility rests upon them in the marriage relation farther than this. They should consider whether their offspring will possess physical health, and mental and moral strength. But few have moved with high motives, and with elevated considerations which they could not lightly throw off - that society had claims upon them, that the weight of their family's influence would tell in the upward or downward scale.
Society is composed of families; and heads of families are responsible for the molding of society. If those who choose to enter the marriage relation without due consideration were alone to be the sufferers, then the evil would not be so great, and their sin would be comparatively small. But the misery arising from unhappy marriages is felt by the offspring of such unions.They have entailed upon them a life of living misery; and, though innocent, suffer the consequences of their parents' inconsiderate course. Men and women have no right to follow impulse, or blind passion, in their marriage relation, and then bring innocent children into the world to realize from various causes that life has but little joy, but little happiness, and is therefore a burden. Children generally inherit the peculiar traits of character which the parents possess; and in addition to all this, many come up without any redeeming influence around them. They are too frequently huddled together in poverty and filth. With such surroundings and examples, what can be expected of the children when they come upon the stage of action, but that they will sink lower in the scale of moral worth than their parents, and their deficiencies, in every respect, be more apparent than theirs? Thus have this class perpetuated their deficiencies, and cursed their posterity with poverty, imbecility, and degradation. These should not have married. At least, they should not have brought innocent children into existence to share their misery, and hand down their own deficiencies, with accumulating wretchedness, from generation to generation. This is one great cause of the degeneracy of the race.
Those who are contemplating marriage should consider what will be the character and influence of the home they are founding. As they become parents, a sacred trust is committed to them. Upon them depends in a great measure the well-being of their children in this world, and their happiness in the world to come. To a great extent they determine both the physical and the moral stamp that the little ones receive. And upon the character of the home depends the condition of society; the weight of each family's influence will tell in the upward or the downward scale.
The choice of a life companion should be such as best to secure physical, mental, and spiritual well-being for parents and for their children - such as will enable both parents and children to bless their fellow men and to honor their Creator.
Before assuming the responsibilities involved in marriage, young men and young women should have such an experience in practical life as will prepare them for its duties and its burdens. Early marriages are not to be encouraged. A relation so important as marriage and so far-reaching in its results should not be entered upon hastily, without sufficient preparation, and before the mental and physical powers are well developed.
Qualities To Be Sought In A Prospective Wife
Let a young man seek one to stand by his side who is fitted to bear her share of life's burdens, one whose influence will ennoble and refine him, and who will make him happy in her love.
"A prudent wife is from the Lord." "The heart of her husband doth safely trust in her. . . . She will do him good and not evil all the days of her life." "She openeth her mouth with wisdom; and in her tongue is the law of kindness. She looketh well to the ways of her household, and eateth not the bread of idleness. Her children arise up, and call her blessed; her husband also, and he praiseth her," saying, "Many daughters have done virtuously, but thou excellest them all." He who gains such a wife "findeth a good thing, and obtaineth favor of the Lord." Proverbs 19:14; 31:11, 12, 26-29; 18:22.
Here are things which should be considered:
1. Will the one you marry bring happiness to your home?
2. Is she an economist, or will she if married not only use up all her own earnings, but all of yours to gratify a vanity, a love of appearance? Are her principles correct in this direction?
Qualities To Be Sought In A Prospective Husband
Before giving her hand in marriage, every woman should inquire whether he with whom she is about to unite her destiny is worthy. What has been his past record? Is his life pure? Is the love which he expresses of a noble, elevated character, or is it a mere emotional fondness? Has he the traits of character that will make her happy? Can she find true peace and joy in his affection? Will she be allowed to preserve her individuality, or must her judgment and conscience be surrendered to the control of her husband? As a disciple of Christ, she is not her own; she has been bought with a price. Can she honor the Saviour's claims as supreme? Will body and soul, thoughts and purposes, be preserved pure and holy? These questions have a vital bearing upon the well-being of every woman who enters the marriage relation.
Let the questions be raised, Will this union help me heavenward? will it increase my love for God? and will it enlarge my sphere of usefulness in this life? If these reflections present no drawback, then in the fear of God move forward.
True love is a plant that needs culture. Let the woman who desires a peaceful, happy union, who would escape future misery and sorrow, inquire before she yields her affections, Has my lover a mother? What is the stamp of her character? Does he recognize his obligations to her? Is he mindful of her wishes and happiness? If he does not respect and honor his mother, will he manifest respect and love, kindness and attention, toward his wife? When the novelty of marriage is over, will he love me still? Will he be patient with my mistakes, or will he be critical, overbearing, and dictatorial? True affection will overlook many mistakes; love will not discern them.
Let a young woman accept as a life companion only one who possesses pure, manly traits of character, one who is diligent, aspiring and honest, one who loves and fears God.
How To Choose The Right Person
In these days of peril and corruption, the young are exposed to many trials and temptations. Many are sailing in a dangerous harbor. They need a pilot; but they scorn to accept the much-needed help, feeling that they are competent to guide their own bark, and not realizing that it is about to strike a hidden rock that may cause them to make shipwreck of faith and happiness. They are infatuated with the subject of courtship and marriage, and their principal burden is to have their own way. In this, the most important period of their lives, they need an unerring counselor, an infallible guide. This they will find in the word of God. Unless they are diligent students of that word, they will make grave mistakes, which will mar their happiness and that of others, both for the present and the future life.
There is a disposition with many to be impetuous and headstrong. They have not heeded the wise counsel of the word of God; they have not battled with self, and obtained precious victories; and their proud, unbending will has driven them from the path of duty and obedience. Look back over your past life, young friends, and faithfully consider your course in the light of God's word. Have you cherished that conscientious regard for your obligations to your parents that the Bible enjoins? Have you treated with kindness and love the mother who has cared for you from infancy? Have you regarded her wishes, or have you brought pain and sadness to her heart by carrying out your own desires and plans? Has the truth you profess sanctified your heart, and softened and subdued your will? If not, you have close work to do to make past wrongs right.
The Bible presents a perfect standard of character. This sacred book, inspired by God, and written by holy men, is a perfect guide under all circumstances of life. It sets forth distinctly the duties of both young and old. If made the guide of life, its teachings will lead the soul upward. It will elevate the mind, improve the character, and give peace and joy to the heart. But many of the young have chosen to be their own counselor and guide, and have taken their cases in their own hands. Such need to study more closely the teachings of the Bible. In its pages they will find revealed their duty to their parents and to their brethren in the faith. The fifth commandment reads, "Honor thy father and thy mother, that thy days may be long upon the land which the Lord thy God giveth thee." Exodus 20:12 Again we read, "Children, obey your parents in the Lord; for this is right." Ephesians 6:1 One of the signs that we are living in the last days is that children are disobedient to parents, unthankful, unholy (2 Timothy 3:1,2). The word of God abounds in precepts and counsels enjoining respect for parents. It impresses upon the young the sacred duty of loving and cherishing those who have guided them through infancy, childhood, and youth, up to manhood and womanhood, and who are now in a great degree dependent upon them for peace and happiness. The Bible gives no uncertain sound on this subject; nevertheless, its teachings have been greatly disregarded.
The young have many lessons to learn, and the most important one is to learn to know themselves. They should have correct ideas of their obligations and duties to their parents, and should be constantly learning in the school of Christ to be meek and lowly of heart. While they are to love and honor their parents, they are also to respect the judgment of men of experience with whom they are connected in the church. A young man who enjoys the society and wins the friendship of a young lady unbeknown to her parents, does not act a noble Christian part toward her or toward her parents. Through secret communications and meetings he may gain an influence over her mind; but in so doing he fails to manifest that nobility and integrity of soul which every child of God will possess. In order to accomplish their ends, they act a part that is not frank and open and according to the Bible standard, and prove themselves untrue to those who love them and try to be faithful guardians over them. Marriages contracted under such influences are not according to the word of God. He who would lead a daughter away from duty, who would confuse her ideas of God's plain and positive commands to obey and honor her parents, is not one who would be true to the marriage obligations.
The question is asked, "Wherewithal shall a young man cleanse his way?" Psalm 119:9a and the answer is given, "By taking heed thereto according to thy word." Psalm 119:9b The young man who makes the Bible his guide, need not mistake the path of duty and of safety. That blessed book will teach him to preserve his integrity of character, to be truthful, to practice no deception. "Thou shalt not steal" Exodus 20:15 was written by the finger of God upon the tables of stone; yet how much underhand stealing of affections is practiced and excused. A deceptive courtship is maintained, private communications are kept up, until the affections of one who is inexperienced, and knows not whereunto these things may grow, are in a measure withdrawn from her parents and placed upon him who shows by the very course he pursues that he is unworthy of her love. The Bible condemns every species of dishonesty, and demands right-doing under all circumstances. "Lying lips are abomination to the Lord: but they that deal truly are his delight." Proverbs 12:22. He who makes the Bible the guide of his youth, the light of his path, will obey its teachings in all things. He will not transgress one jot or tittle of the law in order to accomplish any object, even if he has to make great sacrifices in consequence. If he believes the Bible, he knows that the blessing of God will not rest upon him if he departs from the strict path of rectitude. Although he may appear for a time to prosper, he will surely reap the fruit of his doings.The curse of God rests upon many of the ill-timed, inappropriate connections that are formed in this age of the world. If the Bible left these questions in a vague, uncertain light, then the course that many youth of today are pursuing in their attachments for one another, would be more excusable. But the requirements of the Bible are not half-way injunctions; they demand perfect purity of thought, of word, and of deed. We are grateful to God that his word is a light to the feet, and that none need mistake the path of duty (Psalm 119:105, 11). The young should make it a business to consult its pages and heed its counsels; for sad mistakes are always made in departing from its precepts.
If there is any subject that should be considered with calm reason and unimpassioned judgment, it is the subject of marriage. If ever the Bible is needed as a counselor, it is before taking a step that binds persons together for life. But the prevailing sentiment is that in this matter the feelings are to be the guide; and in too many cases love-sick sentimentalism takes the helm, and guides to certain ruin. It is here that the youth show less intelligence than on any other subject; it is here that they refuse to be reasoned with. The question of marriage seems to have a bewitching power over them. They do not submit themselves to God. Their senses are enchained, and they move forward in secretiveness, as if fearful that their plans would be interfered with by some one.
This underhand way in which courtships and marriages are carried on, is the cause of a great amount of misery, the full extent of which is known only to God. On this rock thousands have made shipwreck of their souls. Professed Christians, whose lives are marked with integrity, and who seem sensible upon every other subject, make fearful mistakes here. They manifest a set, determined will that reason cannot change. They become so fascinated with human feelings and impulses that they have no desire to search the Bible and come into close relationship with God. Satan knows just what elements he has to deal with, and he displays his infernal wisdom in various devices to entrap souls to their ruin. He watches every step that is taken, and makes many suggestions, and often these suggestions are followed rather than the counsel of God's word. This finely woven, dangerous net is skillfully prepared to entangle the young and unwary. It may often be disguised under a covering of light; but those who become its victims, pierce themselves through with many sorrows. As the results, we see wrecks of humanity everywhere.
When will our youth be wise? How long will this kind of work go on? Shall children consult only their own desires and inclinations irrespective of the advice and judgment of their parents? Some seem never to bestow a thought upon their parents' wishes or preferences, nor to regard their matured judgment. Selfishness has closed the door of their hearts to filial affection. The minds of the young need to be aroused in regard to this matter. The fifth commandment is the only commandment to which is annexed a promise; but it is held lightly, and is even positively ignored by the lover's claim. Slighting a mother's love, dishonoring a father's care, are sins that stand registered against many youth.
One of the greatest errors connected with this subject is that the young and inexperienced must not have their affections disturbed, that there must be no interference in their love experience. If there ever was a subject that needed to be viewed from every standpoint, it is this. The aid of the experience of others, and a calm, careful weighing of the matter on both sides, is positively essential. It is a subject that is treated altogether too lightly by the great majority of people. Take God and your God-fearing parents into your counsel, young friends. Pray over the matter. Weigh every sentiment, and watch every development of character in the one with whom you think to link your life destiny. The step you are about to take is one of the most important in your life, and should not be taken hastily. While you may love, do not love blindly.
Examine carefully to see if your married life would be happy, or inharmonious and wretched. Let the questions be raised,
1. Will this union help me heavenward?
2. will it increase my love for God? And
3. will it enlarge my sphere of usefulness in this life? If these reflections present no drawback, then in the fear of God move forward. But even if an engagement has been entered into without a full understanding of the character of the one with whom you intend to unite, do not think that the engagement makes it a positive necessity for you to take upon yourself the marriage vow, and link yourself for life to one whom you cannot love and respect. Be very careful how you enter into conditional engagements; but better, far better, break the engagement before marriage than separate afterward, as many do.
The youth trust altogether too much to impulse. They should not give themselves away too easily, nor be captivated too readily by the winning exterior of the lover. Courtship, as carried on in this age, is a scheme of deception and hypocrisy, with which the enemy of souls has far more to do than the Lord. Good common sense is needed here if anywhere; but the fact is, it has little to do in the matter.
If children would be more familiar with their parents, if they would confide in them, and unburden to them their joys and sorrows, they would save themselves many a future heart-ache. When perplexed to know what course is right, let them lay the matter just as they view it before their parents, and ask advice of them. Who are so well calculated to point out their dangers as godly parents? Who can understand their peculiar temperaments so well as they? Children who are Christians will esteem above every earthly blessing the love and approbation of their God-fearing parents. The parents can sympathize with the children, and pray for and with them that God will shield-and guide them. Above everything else they will point them to their never-failing Friend and Counselor, who will be touched with the feeling of their infirmities. He who was tempted in all points like as we are, yet without sin, knows how to succor those who are tempted, and who come to him in faith (Hebrews 4:15; 2:18).
Let those who are contemplating marriage weigh every sentiment (feeling, emotion, response, reaction, opinion, outlook) attitude and watch every development of character in the one with whom they think to unite their life destiny. Let every step toward a marriage alliance be characterized by modesty, simplicity, sincerity, and an earnest purpose to please and honor God. Marriage affects the afterlife both in this world and in the world to come. A sincere Christian will make no plans that God cannot approve.
If you are blessed with God-fearing parents, seek counsel of them. Open to them your hopes and plans, learn the lessons which their life experiences have taught, and you will be saved many a heartache. Above all, make Christ your counselor. Study His word with prayer.
Unfortunately, the majority of the marriages of our time, and the way in which they are conducted, make them one of the signs of the last days. Men and women are so persistent, so headstrong, that God is left out of the question. Religion is laid aside, as if it had no part to act in this solemn and important matter.
But always keep in mind that God's Word says, "Whether therefore ye eat, or drink, or whatsoever ye do, do all to the glory of God." 1 Corinthians 10:31.
Marriage is something that will influence and affect your life, both in this world, and in the world to come. A sincere Christian will not advance his plans in this direction without the knowledge that God approves his course. He will not want to choose for himself, but will feel that God must choose for him. We are not to please ourselves, for Christ pleased not himself, I would not be understood to mean that any one is to marry one whom he does not love. This would be sin. But fancy and the emotional nature must not be allowed to lead on to ruin. God requires the whole heart, the supreme affections.
As we keep these thought in mind, let us look at four aspects of courtship and marriage.
Factors To Consider In Your Choice Of Partner
Qualities To Be Sought In A Prospective Wife
Qualities To Be Sought In A Prospective Husband
How To Choose The Right Person
Factors To Consider In Your Choice Of Partner
The Lord desires His servants to preserve their holy and peculiar character. "Be ye not unequally yoked together with unbelievers," is His command; "for what fellowship hath righteousness with unrighteousness? and what communion hath light with darkness? and what concord hath Christ with Belial? or what part hath he that believeth with an infidel? and what agreement hath the temple of God with idols? for ye are the temple of the living God; as God hath said, I will dwell in them, and walk in them; and I will be their God, and they shall be My people. Wherefore come out from among them, and be ye separate, saith the Lord, and touch not the unclean thing; and I will receive you, and will be a Father unto you, and ye shall be My sons and daughters, saith the Lord Almighty." 2 Corinthians 6:14-18.
Never was there a time in earth's history when this warning was more appropriate than at the present time. Many professed Christians think, like Solomon, that they may unite with the ungodly, because their influence over those who are in the wrong will be beneficial; but too often they themselves, entrapped and overcome, yield their sacred faith, sacrifice principle, and separate themselves from God. One false step leads to another, till at last they place themselves where they cannot hope to break the chains that bind them.
Great care should be taken by Christian youth in the formation of friendships and in the choice of companions. Take heed, lest what you now think to be pure gold turns out to be base metal. Worldly associations tend to place obstructions in the way of your service to God, and many souls are ruined by unhappy unions, either business or matrimonial, with those who can never elevate or ennoble. Never should God's people venture upon forbidden ground. Marriage between believers and unbelievers is forbidden by God. But too often the unconverted heart follows its own desires, and marriages unsanctioned by God are formed. Because of this many men and women are without hope and without God in the world. Their noble aspirations are dead; by a chain of circumstances they are held in Satan's net. Those who are ruled by passion and impulse will have a bitter harvest to reap in this life, and their course may result in the loss of their souls.
The marriage institution was designed of Heaven to be a blessing to man; but, in a general sense, it has been abused in such a manner as to make it a dreadful curse. Most of men and women have acted, in entering the marriage relation, as though the only question for them to settle was, whether they loved each other. But they should realize that a responsibility rests upon them in the marriage relation farther than this. They should consider whether their offspring will possess physical health, and mental and moral strength. But few have moved with high motives, and with elevated considerations which they could not lightly throw off - that society had claims upon them, that the weight of their family's influence would tell in the upward or downward scale.
Society is composed of families; and heads of families are responsible for the molding of society. If those who choose to enter the marriage relation without due consideration were alone to be the sufferers, then the evil would not be so great, and their sin would be comparatively small. But the misery arising from unhappy marriages is felt by the offspring of such unions.They have entailed upon them a life of living misery; and, though innocent, suffer the consequences of their parents' inconsiderate course. Men and women have no right to follow impulse, or blind passion, in their marriage relation, and then bring innocent children into the world to realize from various causes that life has but little joy, but little happiness, and is therefore a burden. Children generally inherit the peculiar traits of character which the parents possess; and in addition to all this, many come up without any redeeming influence around them. They are too frequently huddled together in poverty and filth. With such surroundings and examples, what can be expected of the children when they come upon the stage of action, but that they will sink lower in the scale of moral worth than their parents, and their deficiencies, in every respect, be more apparent than theirs? Thus have this class perpetuated their deficiencies, and cursed their posterity with poverty, imbecility, and degradation. These should not have married. At least, they should not have brought innocent children into existence to share their misery, and hand down their own deficiencies, with accumulating wretchedness, from generation to generation. This is one great cause of the degeneracy of the race.
Those who are contemplating marriage should consider what will be the character and influence of the home they are founding. As they become parents, a sacred trust is committed to them. Upon them depends in a great measure the well-being of their children in this world, and their happiness in the world to come. To a great extent they determine both the physical and the moral stamp that the little ones receive. And upon the character of the home depends the condition of society; the weight of each family's influence will tell in the upward or the downward scale.
The choice of a life companion should be such as best to secure physical, mental, and spiritual well-being for parents and for their children - such as will enable both parents and children to bless their fellow men and to honor their Creator.
Before assuming the responsibilities involved in marriage, young men and young women should have such an experience in practical life as will prepare them for its duties and its burdens. Early marriages are not to be encouraged. A relation so important as marriage and so far-reaching in its results should not be entered upon hastily, without sufficient preparation, and before the mental and physical powers are well developed.
Qualities To Be Sought In A Prospective Wife
Let a young man seek one to stand by his side who is fitted to bear her share of life's burdens, one whose influence will ennoble and refine him, and who will make him happy in her love.
"A prudent wife is from the Lord." "The heart of her husband doth safely trust in her. . . . She will do him good and not evil all the days of her life." "She openeth her mouth with wisdom; and in her tongue is the law of kindness. She looketh well to the ways of her household, and eateth not the bread of idleness. Her children arise up, and call her blessed; her husband also, and he praiseth her," saying, "Many daughters have done virtuously, but thou excellest them all." He who gains such a wife "findeth a good thing, and obtaineth favor of the Lord." Proverbs 19:14; 31:11, 12, 26-29; 18:22.
Here are things which should be considered:
1. Will the one you marry bring happiness to your home?
2. Is she an economist, or will she if married not only use up all her own earnings, but all of yours to gratify a vanity, a love of appearance? Are her principles correct in this direction?
Qualities To Be Sought In A Prospective Husband
Before giving her hand in marriage, every woman should inquire whether he with whom she is about to unite her destiny is worthy. What has been his past record? Is his life pure? Is the love which he expresses of a noble, elevated character, or is it a mere emotional fondness? Has he the traits of character that will make her happy? Can she find true peace and joy in his affection? Will she be allowed to preserve her individuality, or must her judgment and conscience be surrendered to the control of her husband? As a disciple of Christ, she is not her own; she has been bought with a price. Can she honor the Saviour's claims as supreme? Will body and soul, thoughts and purposes, be preserved pure and holy? These questions have a vital bearing upon the well-being of every woman who enters the marriage relation.
Let the questions be raised, Will this union help me heavenward? will it increase my love for God? and will it enlarge my sphere of usefulness in this life? If these reflections present no drawback, then in the fear of God move forward.
True love is a plant that needs culture. Let the woman who desires a peaceful, happy union, who would escape future misery and sorrow, inquire before she yields her affections, Has my lover a mother? What is the stamp of her character? Does he recognize his obligations to her? Is he mindful of her wishes and happiness? If he does not respect and honor his mother, will he manifest respect and love, kindness and attention, toward his wife? When the novelty of marriage is over, will he love me still? Will he be patient with my mistakes, or will he be critical, overbearing, and dictatorial? True affection will overlook many mistakes; love will not discern them.
Let a young woman accept as a life companion only one who possesses pure, manly traits of character, one who is diligent, aspiring and honest, one who loves and fears God.
How To Choose The Right Person
In these days of peril and corruption, the young are exposed to many trials and temptations. Many are sailing in a dangerous harbor. They need a pilot; but they scorn to accept the much-needed help, feeling that they are competent to guide their own bark, and not realizing that it is about to strike a hidden rock that may cause them to make shipwreck of faith and happiness. They are infatuated with the subject of courtship and marriage, and their principal burden is to have their own way. In this, the most important period of their lives, they need an unerring counselor, an infallible guide. This they will find in the word of God. Unless they are diligent students of that word, they will make grave mistakes, which will mar their happiness and that of others, both for the present and the future life.
There is a disposition with many to be impetuous and headstrong. They have not heeded the wise counsel of the word of God; they have not battled with self, and obtained precious victories; and their proud, unbending will has driven them from the path of duty and obedience. Look back over your past life, young friends, and faithfully consider your course in the light of God's word. Have you cherished that conscientious regard for your obligations to your parents that the Bible enjoins? Have you treated with kindness and love the mother who has cared for you from infancy? Have you regarded her wishes, or have you brought pain and sadness to her heart by carrying out your own desires and plans? Has the truth you profess sanctified your heart, and softened and subdued your will? If not, you have close work to do to make past wrongs right.
The Bible presents a perfect standard of character. This sacred book, inspired by God, and written by holy men, is a perfect guide under all circumstances of life. It sets forth distinctly the duties of both young and old. If made the guide of life, its teachings will lead the soul upward. It will elevate the mind, improve the character, and give peace and joy to the heart. But many of the young have chosen to be their own counselor and guide, and have taken their cases in their own hands. Such need to study more closely the teachings of the Bible. In its pages they will find revealed their duty to their parents and to their brethren in the faith. The fifth commandment reads, "Honor thy father and thy mother, that thy days may be long upon the land which the Lord thy God giveth thee." Exodus 20:12 Again we read, "Children, obey your parents in the Lord; for this is right." Ephesians 6:1 One of the signs that we are living in the last days is that children are disobedient to parents, unthankful, unholy (2 Timothy 3:1,2). The word of God abounds in precepts and counsels enjoining respect for parents. It impresses upon the young the sacred duty of loving and cherishing those who have guided them through infancy, childhood, and youth, up to manhood and womanhood, and who are now in a great degree dependent upon them for peace and happiness. The Bible gives no uncertain sound on this subject; nevertheless, its teachings have been greatly disregarded.
The young have many lessons to learn, and the most important one is to learn to know themselves. They should have correct ideas of their obligations and duties to their parents, and should be constantly learning in the school of Christ to be meek and lowly of heart. While they are to love and honor their parents, they are also to respect the judgment of men of experience with whom they are connected in the church. A young man who enjoys the society and wins the friendship of a young lady unbeknown to her parents, does not act a noble Christian part toward her or toward her parents. Through secret communications and meetings he may gain an influence over her mind; but in so doing he fails to manifest that nobility and integrity of soul which every child of God will possess. In order to accomplish their ends, they act a part that is not frank and open and according to the Bible standard, and prove themselves untrue to those who love them and try to be faithful guardians over them. Marriages contracted under such influences are not according to the word of God. He who would lead a daughter away from duty, who would confuse her ideas of God's plain and positive commands to obey and honor her parents, is not one who would be true to the marriage obligations.
The question is asked, "Wherewithal shall a young man cleanse his way?" Psalm 119:9a and the answer is given, "By taking heed thereto according to thy word." Psalm 119:9b The young man who makes the Bible his guide, need not mistake the path of duty and of safety. That blessed book will teach him to preserve his integrity of character, to be truthful, to practice no deception. "Thou shalt not steal" Exodus 20:15 was written by the finger of God upon the tables of stone; yet how much underhand stealing of affections is practiced and excused. A deceptive courtship is maintained, private communications are kept up, until the affections of one who is inexperienced, and knows not whereunto these things may grow, are in a measure withdrawn from her parents and placed upon him who shows by the very course he pursues that he is unworthy of her love. The Bible condemns every species of dishonesty, and demands right-doing under all circumstances. "Lying lips are abomination to the Lord: but they that deal truly are his delight." Proverbs 12:22. He who makes the Bible the guide of his youth, the light of his path, will obey its teachings in all things. He will not transgress one jot or tittle of the law in order to accomplish any object, even if he has to make great sacrifices in consequence. If he believes the Bible, he knows that the blessing of God will not rest upon him if he departs from the strict path of rectitude. Although he may appear for a time to prosper, he will surely reap the fruit of his doings.The curse of God rests upon many of the ill-timed, inappropriate connections that are formed in this age of the world. If the Bible left these questions in a vague, uncertain light, then the course that many youth of today are pursuing in their attachments for one another, would be more excusable. But the requirements of the Bible are not half-way injunctions; they demand perfect purity of thought, of word, and of deed. We are grateful to God that his word is a light to the feet, and that none need mistake the path of duty (Psalm 119:105, 11). The young should make it a business to consult its pages and heed its counsels; for sad mistakes are always made in departing from its precepts.
If there is any subject that should be considered with calm reason and unimpassioned judgment, it is the subject of marriage. If ever the Bible is needed as a counselor, it is before taking a step that binds persons together for life. But the prevailing sentiment is that in this matter the feelings are to be the guide; and in too many cases love-sick sentimentalism takes the helm, and guides to certain ruin. It is here that the youth show less intelligence than on any other subject; it is here that they refuse to be reasoned with. The question of marriage seems to have a bewitching power over them. They do not submit themselves to God. Their senses are enchained, and they move forward in secretiveness, as if fearful that their plans would be interfered with by some one.
This underhand way in which courtships and marriages are carried on, is the cause of a great amount of misery, the full extent of which is known only to God. On this rock thousands have made shipwreck of their souls. Professed Christians, whose lives are marked with integrity, and who seem sensible upon every other subject, make fearful mistakes here. They manifest a set, determined will that reason cannot change. They become so fascinated with human feelings and impulses that they have no desire to search the Bible and come into close relationship with God. Satan knows just what elements he has to deal with, and he displays his infernal wisdom in various devices to entrap souls to their ruin. He watches every step that is taken, and makes many suggestions, and often these suggestions are followed rather than the counsel of God's word. This finely woven, dangerous net is skillfully prepared to entangle the young and unwary. It may often be disguised under a covering of light; but those who become its victims, pierce themselves through with many sorrows. As the results, we see wrecks of humanity everywhere.
When will our youth be wise? How long will this kind of work go on? Shall children consult only their own desires and inclinations irrespective of the advice and judgment of their parents? Some seem never to bestow a thought upon their parents' wishes or preferences, nor to regard their matured judgment. Selfishness has closed the door of their hearts to filial affection. The minds of the young need to be aroused in regard to this matter. The fifth commandment is the only commandment to which is annexed a promise; but it is held lightly, and is even positively ignored by the lover's claim. Slighting a mother's love, dishonoring a father's care, are sins that stand registered against many youth.
One of the greatest errors connected with this subject is that the young and inexperienced must not have their affections disturbed, that there must be no interference in their love experience. If there ever was a subject that needed to be viewed from every standpoint, it is this. The aid of the experience of others, and a calm, careful weighing of the matter on both sides, is positively essential. It is a subject that is treated altogether too lightly by the great majority of people. Take God and your God-fearing parents into your counsel, young friends. Pray over the matter. Weigh every sentiment, and watch every development of character in the one with whom you think to link your life destiny. The step you are about to take is one of the most important in your life, and should not be taken hastily. While you may love, do not love blindly.
Examine carefully to see if your married life would be happy, or inharmonious and wretched. Let the questions be raised,
1. Will this union help me heavenward?
2. will it increase my love for God? And
3. will it enlarge my sphere of usefulness in this life? If these reflections present no drawback, then in the fear of God move forward. But even if an engagement has been entered into without a full understanding of the character of the one with whom you intend to unite, do not think that the engagement makes it a positive necessity for you to take upon yourself the marriage vow, and link yourself for life to one whom you cannot love and respect. Be very careful how you enter into conditional engagements; but better, far better, break the engagement before marriage than separate afterward, as many do.
The youth trust altogether too much to impulse. They should not give themselves away too easily, nor be captivated too readily by the winning exterior of the lover. Courtship, as carried on in this age, is a scheme of deception and hypocrisy, with which the enemy of souls has far more to do than the Lord. Good common sense is needed here if anywhere; but the fact is, it has little to do in the matter.
If children would be more familiar with their parents, if they would confide in them, and unburden to them their joys and sorrows, they would save themselves many a future heart-ache. When perplexed to know what course is right, let them lay the matter just as they view it before their parents, and ask advice of them. Who are so well calculated to point out their dangers as godly parents? Who can understand their peculiar temperaments so well as they? Children who are Christians will esteem above every earthly blessing the love and approbation of their God-fearing parents. The parents can sympathize with the children, and pray for and with them that God will shield-and guide them. Above everything else they will point them to their never-failing Friend and Counselor, who will be touched with the feeling of their infirmities. He who was tempted in all points like as we are, yet without sin, knows how to succor those who are tempted, and who come to him in faith (Hebrews 4:15; 2:18).
Let those who are contemplating marriage weigh every sentiment (feeling, emotion, response, reaction, opinion, outlook) attitude and watch every development of character in the one with whom they think to unite their life destiny. Let every step toward a marriage alliance be characterized by modesty, simplicity, sincerity, and an earnest purpose to please and honor God. Marriage affects the afterlife both in this world and in the world to come. A sincere Christian will make no plans that God cannot approve.
If you are blessed with God-fearing parents, seek counsel of them. Open to them your hopes and plans, learn the lessons which their life experiences have taught, and you will be saved many a heartache. Above all, make Christ your counselor. Study His word with prayer.
Unfortunately, the majority of the marriages of our time, and the way in which they are conducted, make them one of the signs of the last days. Men and women are so persistent, so headstrong, that God is left out of the question. Religion is laid aside, as if it had no part to act in this solemn and important matter.
But always keep in mind that God's Word says, "Whether therefore ye eat, or drink, or whatsoever ye do, do all to the glory of God." 1 Corinthians 10:31.
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